Lost
by MRodriguez774
Summary: Now in his life there is nothing but the road and his motorcycle. That is all this biker has after his dark past engulfed anything he held dear to his heart. With no redemption in sight, he endures his punishment of isolation until he is once again tested. Now after all he's been through he is unsure if he is the monster he believes to be or if he can be better for once in his life
1. Isolated

The stars of the night were always a beautiful sight to behold while on the road. For one man in particular it was an escape. It was a doorway to a whole new state of mind. The sound of his Harley would fade away and nothing would be left but silence and the world laid out before his eyes. It was in these moments that nothing else existed for him. It was as if time stood still every time he reached one hundred miles per hour on his bike. He barely even felt the swiftness of the wind at these speeds anymore. Now was one of those times where he lost himself in the scenery. He wouldn't dare remember anything from his long past. All he wanted was to be lost on this lonesome ride of his. It had been more than two hundred days he spent on the road alone. His dark brown hair had grown long and his beard had gotten full. Any time off of the highway was spent in cheap motels or bars. After the first fifty days on the run he never even bothered to look into a mirror. He would see nothing but shame inside of it. The hot air of the desert felt good on his dry skin. It was pitch black with only a few dark shadows of bushes and trees for him to see along with the black pavement parted by yellow dashes in the middle of the road.

His eyes were beginning to close as he felt the lack of sleep catching up with him. He licked the inside of his dry mouth, still tasting the whiskey he drank hours ago. There was a sign he passed by saying there was a motel a few miles down. He didn't want to stop but he had no choice. If he continued it would only lead to another spill from sleep deprivation. After a few minutes he saw the lights of the twenty-four hour motel and pulled into its parking lot, his loud bike probably waking every person inside. It was a small and old looking motel complete with vending machines in the front and a red neon vacancy sign by the entrance. When he came to a stop he twisted the keys and silenced his only companion. He removed his helmet and stared at the stars one last time before getting off the bike. He swiped the dust and dirt off of his leather jacket and oil stained jeans then took off the backpack he had on. He placed the pack on the seat of his bike and unzipped it open to reveal a small amount of clothes. He slightly picked up the clothes exposing over a hundred thousand dollars underneath. He pulled out three hundred dollar bills and shoved them into the pocket of his jacket. He put his arm through one of the straps of the backpack and held it with one shoulder. After setting his helmet down on the seat of the bike he walked to the front desk.

There was a homeless man sitting against the wall of the motel by his cart full of dirty raggedy clothes, bottles and cans. The biker glanced at the man with his peripherals before opening the front door and walking in. He stood by the front counter and rung the bell sitting on top. The front desk was a mess with papers, soda cans, and food wrappers all around it. The rest of the room was just as filthy and beat down accompanied with flies buzzing around. The light in the ceiling flickered and some of the tiles were either cracked or broken. A big bald man walked out from the room in the back of the office. He fit in with the room just fine with a dirty shirt and shorts on. He looked surprised to see this six foot man waiting for him behind the counter.

"How can I help you?" he asked.

"Just a room for the night," he said with his deep hoarse voice. The man nodded and grabbed some papers from the desk and slid them to his customer on the counter.

"It's gonna be seventy-three bucks with eighty scents once you just fill in those papers." He didn't show it but he was surprised to see this guy asking for all the legal stuff to get a room. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bills. He placed two of the bills on top of the paper. The man looked at him with a brow raised.

"The first is for the room and you can keep the change. The second is for you if we skip the papers and if you think you're able to forget my face." The man looked at him confused and simply reached out for the papers and the money. He pulled them towards him and slipped the bills into the pocket of his shorts then reached out and grabbed the key card.

"You're in room eight," he said nervously as he handed the key card to the biker. He calmly grabbed the card from his hand and nodded with gratitude. He adjusted his backpack and walked out, leaving the other man at the front desk with his confusion. Once he walked out of the entrance he stopped and turned back to the homeless man. He walked over to the man and stood over him. The homeless man looked like he had just woken up and just stared at this stranger looking down at him. He was old with white hair on his head and face. He opened his mouth to say something revealing some yellow teeth and a couple missing. The biker grabbed the other hundred from his pocket and squatted down before he could say anything.

"Hold out your hand." The homeless man listened and extended his hand out to the biker. He then softly shook his hand. When he released him he stood up straight, keeping his eyes on the homeless man. He watched the biker walk away then looked to his hand and saw the hundred dollar bill in it. Before going to his room, he grabbed the leather bags from each side of his bike and his helmet, and took them inside of room eight. It was a small room but it had all he needed. The bed was on the left side of the doorway with a nightstand beside it. Sitting on the nightstand was a lamp and a digital clock. In front of the bed was an old TV on top of a small wooden cabinet. Beside the cabinet was a small wooden chair. When he closed the door he set one of the heavy leather bags beside the entrance. It made a loud thud when it hit the floor. He dropped his backpack on the bed, along with the other leather bag and his helmet. There was a coat hanger on the back of the door so he slid out of his leather jacket and hung it on there. At the foot of the bed he lifted his white shirt a bit and took out the pistol from the back of his jeans, then set it next to the leather bag. He sat down on the bed and took off his black boots.

Once his boots were off he walked into the bathroom and removed the rest of his clothes. First he slipped off his shirt, revealing many scars on his tan, muscular body. There was a gunshot scar on his right shoulder and a few knife scars on his abdomen, back and left arm. Among the scars there was a small tattoo on his chest, over his heart. It was a name in cursive that read _Laurie._ He reached into the shower and turned the water on. There was a knife inside its sheath attached to his belt; he removed it and tossed it onto the bed as well. He returned to the bathroom and shut the door. When he took off his jeans, his naked skin revealed another stab scar on his right thigh. He leaned over the sink and pulled his long, wavy hair behind his ears. The steam was beginning to fill up the bathroom which was what he hoped for. He looked up and saw the mirror completely fogged up from the steam, hiding his reflection. He slipped off the silver ring on his left hand and placed it by the handle on the sink. He turned on the water from the sink then closed his eyes and let the water fill his cupped hands. The cold water felt good against his face when he splashed it on himself. His rough hands slid down his wet cheeks and finally he opened his eyes. He stood against the wall twisting the silver ring on his left ring finger waiting for the water to get warmer. He stepped into the shower and bent his head down underneath the shower head, allowing the warm liquid to splash onto his back. The water hitting against his flesh felt like a massage. He stepped out and rubbed the towel all over himself. All of the steam was released from the bathroom when he opened the door. From the clothes he left neatly on the bed he grabbed some boxers.

He grabbed the small chair and set it in front of the bed. Now he pulled the leather bag towards him and opened it up. Inside of it were more clothes but when he took them out, there was extra cash and some guns underneath. Neatly, he set the clothes to the side then took out the weapons. He pulled out two more pistols then a small black case, and four clips. He pushed the bag back and started to take apart the pistols to clean them. Once they were all clean and back together, he removed the clip from the gun he had on him. With the black case in his hand, he opened it revealing four rows of bullets with twenty in each row. However, one of the rows was missing six bullets. He took two more from that row and pushed it into the clip. Now that it was full, he shoved the clip into the pistol. He sighed as he brought the weapon down on his leg. His attention was turned onto what was on the bed and it depressed him. There was enough money to have him set for life but there was no point. He turned his attention to the gun.

So many times he was caught in this predicament. So many times he wanted this to be over. So many times he wanted to end it all. He had been alone for so long that he lost count of how many days he hadn't been home. _Home._ There was no such thing in his life anymore. He had no place to call home anymore. From the corner of his eye he could see the highway through a small opening the curtains didn't cover of the window. The closest thing he had to a home was the road. It was the only place he could be at peace without having to be dead. Nights like these were what he despised most. They were the times where he felt the most human but he did notice the silver lining of nights like these. If he could still feel this human then maybe he wasn't the monster he told himself he was. The pistol in his hand was placed on the bed. He stood up from the chair and walked over to the cabinet. The black shirt for tomorrow was folded then laid beside the TV. His boots were set side by side on the floor in front of the cabinet and his jeans were positioned on top of the shirt. The firearms, clips, and bullets were placed back into the bag beside his money. The clothes he recently wore were bundled up and shoved into the leather bag on top of the money and weapons. Once everything was inside of his bag, he placed it on the floor then slid it under the bed. His backpack was set down in front of the nightstand and once again he had the pistol in his hand. He stared at it for a long while wondering if this night would still be the one.

A sigh was let out and he knew that this wasn't the night. _Soon_ , he thought but in the back of his head he could feel that it might not happen. The gun was placed underneath his pillow in case life had a surprise for him during the night. With the bed clear of his things, he laid down on his stomach with one hand underneath the pillow, grasping the handguns handle. He closed his eyes hoping he was more tired than he suspected but he was never that lucky. It always took him maybe half an hour to an hour to fall asleep. These nights where he felt the most vulnerable always felt the same. They also always ended the same way. Every time he closed his eyes ready to put these nights away, he always had this one last thought in his head before he drifted off to sleep. It was never really over until he had this thought. This thought was the reason why he thought himself such a monster.

 _I hope I care less tomorrow._

The biker was up before the crack of dawn. He wasn't sure how much sleep he got but he didn't care; he knew it was enough. The bags were loaded on his bike and he was ready to get back on the road. On the front desk was the key card for his room. As he exited the office, he glanced back at the homeless man on the side of the building. The two locked eyes and it was the homeless man who waved goodbye with a smile. The biker simply nodded then went on his way. The engine roared when he twisted the throttle, sending him back onto that familiar black pavement. It wasn't long before the morning sun illuminated his path. The blackness from the night before hid the golden color of the Montana desert. The sunlight also made the color of the bike shine. Despite the dirt and dust covering it, the Persian blue still stood out. The wind had gotten colder so he knew that he wouldn't be in the desert much longer. The signs showed him heading towards a city called Bozeman. However, he didn't plan on actually going to Bozeman.

Through his travels he's always stayed away from cities and only stopped in towns. The cities would lend him too much attention, which is what he didn't need. Towns were a safer bet for him to stop in. There wouldn't be any need to stop anyway since he already stopped beforehand. This day looked like it would end up being exactly what he hoped for the night before. This time he drove under a hundred miles and enjoyed the view. The sky was clear and baby blue with little clouds in sight. There were small green trees and bushes on the sides of the road. Rock formations in the distance and of course the beautiful mountains in sight. The oil from his bike was getting low so he was going to need to stop by a nearby gas station. Signs showed that there was one coming up ten miles away. He knew his bike well enough to see that she'd make it.

He came to a crossroads with the station on his right. There were three other cars parked in its lot when he pulled in. Two of them were pumping gas while the other one was parked in front of the building. There was a garage side to the gas station with mechanics relaxing inside, watching TV. He sat on his bike for a while before heading inside. With his helmet removed he reached into his backpack and pulled out a black beanie. He put the beanie on then reached into the pocket of his jacket again. From the pocket he pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. He took one out and lit it up while in his mouth, then put the carton and lighter away. He sucked in the nicotine filled stick allowing the air into his lungs then blew it out into the air. This was one of his two addictions. If it wasn't smoking then he'd be drinking hard liquor; preferably whiskey. Either one of them helped numb his emotions.

It didn't take long to grab the oil for the bike. He was in and out in about five minutes. When he came back to his bike he continued driving until he lost sight of the gas station. Once he couldn't see it he parked his bike on the side of the road. He removed his jacket and laid it on the seat of the bike. This time he reached into the other leather bag. From that bag, he pulled all the tools he needed to do the work on his bike. Before changing the oil he grabbed another cigarette from his jacket and lit it up. This was another activity he loved doing to get his mind off of anything. Working on his bike kept him busy and let him do what he loved. As he was working, a car pulled over to the side of the highway he was on. He heard the tires go over the rocks and dirt on the ground. When he turned back he saw that it was a police car. A young man came out from the car and slowly walked towards him.

"Having a bit of trouble?" said the cop as he walked.

"Nah just giving her a little oil change is all," he mumbled with the cigarette still in his mouth.

"Wow," he said with a smile. "She is a beauty."

"Thanks," he said with a fake smile.

"She's an '03 right?"

"Yes sir. She's my baby."

"I believe it," chuckled the cop. "I've got an '06 myself. I probably love that Harley more than my own wife." The whole time the biker never turned to the officer. He continued with the work on his bike and just hoped that this cop would go away. "I've been thinking about getting another Dyna; maybe your year. You only have this one?"

"She's all I need." He flipped his sunglasses down to cover his eyes then stood up. He turned to the cop and finally faced him. He was young; probably in his early twenties. Young enough to not have seen any action yet but he looked eager for some.

"I can see that," he grinned. "She's a real work of art. Where you headed?"

"Bozeman," he mumbled.

"Oh okay." His eyes squinted as he stared at the biker. "That's a great city," he said slowly. "I'm from there. You live there?" _Damn_ , he thought. He just wanted this conversation to be over.

"I've got family that moved there. I'm just visiting. I love the open road you know." He started to tuck his hand behind his back, ready to pull out the gun. The officer turned his head examining the biker's face.

"Have we met before?" he asked unsurely.

"Nah I don't think so, officer."

"I'm sorry I just feel like I recognize you for some reason."

"You must have me confused for someone else." The cop shook his head doubtfully. "Now if you excuse me I've got to get back on the highway. I should be getting on my way." The cop smirked but was still trying to figure out from where he had seen this man. "So if you don't mind; I'll be going." Then the cops eyes widened and the biker knew that he had put it together. The cop reached for his gun but the biker already drew his. The cop swatted his hand causing the gun to fall on the ground. With his free hand he drew his own gun but the biker grabbed his wrist then quickly took his knife from the sheath and shoved it up the cops' mouth. Blood oozed out from his closed lips then he felt his wrist break as it was slammed down onto the edge of the roof, causing him to drop his firearm. The biker grabbed his throat and pinned him against the car in order to jab the blade into his abdomen a few times. "You shouldn't have stopped," he whispered to the policeman. The life faded from the young man's eyes as he slid down to the ground. The biker looked around to see if there were any witnesses.

There wasn't another soul in sight. He acted quickly and grabbed his gloves from his bag. He searched the body and grabbed the keys from one of the pockets. He wiped off the blood from his knife on the officer's clothes then lifted the body up and carried it to the back of the car. Using the cop's keys he opened the trunk then threw the body inside. Before closing it he grabbed the jacket inside his car and used it to clean his prints off of the man's throat and wrist. He tossed the keys inside the trunk then closed it. Next he picked up his gun then kicked the dirt where he had walked in order to not have any foot prints. He wasn't going to take any chances. He even picked up the butt from the cigarette he first smoked and the can of oil he used on his bike. After taking one last look at the crime scene to see if he forgot anything, he hopped on his bike and sped off on the highway. He found comfort in knowing that he left no tracks behind. This hadn't been the first time this happened so he had become more use to what he had to do. The first was the sloppiest and the hardest but now it had gotten much easier. He couldn't decide what was more frightening; that this had become much easier to handle or that he hadn't felt bad about the life he had just taken.


	2. Nothing A Little Whiskey Can't Fix

A few miles down from Bozeman, there was a bar waiting for him. It was in a town called Crystal River. The small town had only a few inhabitants, all of whom knew each other. There was barely anything of interest within this town. They had one bar, two movie theaters, the sight of a river where all the teenagers went to get lucky, and a few family owned restaurants and stores. It also had its problems, as does every little town. The biker didn't care at all for any of it. He just wanted to stop here to grab a drink since he was out of cigarettes. He passed through Bozeman just in case they had already heard of the young officer's passing. Now he was nearing the small little town. The weather had completely changed now for him which was good. He preferred the cold over the heat. He slowly drove into this town with people staring at him; clearly no one was familiar with outsiders.

It was a nice looking town filled with great looking houses and small businesses. There was a great view of the mountains that looked to be within driving distance. It was very green as well since it was surrounded by trees. Right away he spotted the bar and parked his bike in front. The sun was on its way to set already and he was hoping to have some drinks before turning in. He got off of his bike once it was parked and looked around. No one looked as if they'd steal from someone, especially with how they stared at him. He left the bags on the bike and walked inside of the bar with his backpack still on. It was small but it didn't matter to him as long as they had liquor. There was barely anyone inside with the exception of about three other people who sat in booths. He slid out of his backpack and sat on a stool in front of the counter. His backpack was dropped to the ground and he unzipped his jacket. The bartender was a very pretty woman. She looked to be in her early thirties or late twenties; his age range. She was light skinned with long blonde hair. She walked over to him with a glass in her hand.

"Wow," she said in her cheery voice, "a new face in town."

"Hi," he said in his raspy voice.

"What can I get you, darlin'?"

"Let me just have some Jack, neat."

"You got it." She grabbed the bottle and poured a bit into the cup she was already holding and placed it in front of him.

"Thanks," he said before he downed the drink. "Keep 'em coming." She nodded then poured him another.

"So what brings you to Crystal River?"

"I'm just passing by. It's been a long trip so I'm just gonna be here for the night."

"That's cool well when you're ready to turn in, there's a motel down the road."

"Thanks again," he said as he took a sip from the drink. "I noticed you guys don't get a lot of visitors huh?"

"Yeah we really don't. People around here swear that everyone outside of town are aliens or something. The looks they give some outsiders are just odd." He sipped up the last of the whiskey in the cup to which she filled up again.

"I got some of those looks when I drove in."

"Motorcycle right?" He nodded. "Yeah I heard you," she smirked. "No one around here drives one. I guess they think it's _too dangerous._ "

"There's no better way to travel."

"Yeah I can imagine." She grabbed another cup from below the counter and started cleaning it while eyeing him with a flirtatious smile.

"Are you always this crowded?"

"Most of the time yeah," she giggled. "I get a lot of high schoolers coming in here with their fake ID's but since it's a Wednesday night it's pretty dead. The weekends are a little more alive." His body was beginning to warm up from the whiskey in his system. He loved the way it felt. "So what's your name?" He looked down at the wooden counter then back up at her.

"John," he said. She leaned forward and smiled.

"You got a last name, John?" He smirked and shook his head.

"Smith," he said lazily.

"That has to be the most obvious fake name I have ever heard," she giggled. "Are you really not going to tell me your name?"

"Look," he smirked again, "I know what you're trying to do." His smirk faded away. "But I can't. You're very beautiful but I'm sorry, sweetheart." Her flirty look disappeared as she could see there was something wrong with him. It wasn't hard to see that he was damaged. First thing that popped into her head was heartbreak. She touched his hand. It had been a long while since he felt a woman's hand on his own flesh. She was so soft and it was all too familiar. It brought back a lot of memories.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I guess I just got excited seeing a cute stranger walk into my bar." He chuckled and pulled his hand away from under hers. There was still whiskey in his cup so he downed this one as well. She grabbed the bottle again and poured some more. "Are you from Texas?" His eyes widened a bit but she didn't see.

"How did you know?" he asked nonchalantly.

"I can hear the accent in your voice." He relaxed knowing that he overreacted for nothing. "What part of Texas?"

"Houston."

"And you drove all the way over here on your bike?" He nodded as he took another sip. "That's a hell of a drive. It must be quite the experience."

"You have no idea." He drank the rest of the liquor. She filled it up and looked over to the other side of the bar. There was this woman with black, straight hair sitting in a booth that he didn't notice when he walked in. There was a look of dismay on her face. She had big, dark purple colored glasses on the bridge of her nose beneath her sad eyes. A glass cup sat in front of her filled with what he guessed was wine. She circled her finger around the rim of the cup over and over again. He couldn't really see her whole face but her hand gave away her light skin tone. Her nails were also painted purple and she also looked to be short.

"That's Laila." He looked over to the bartender again. "I saw you staring."

"She alright?" he asked carelessly while downing his filled glass.

"She just has a lot going on. Her boyfriend is a real asshole. She comes in here a couple times a week to kind of get away from him. I think she managed to get her son out of the house for a while."

"Son?" She nodded while pouring more liquor into his glass.

"Whenever she finds a place for her son to go to, she'll come here sometimes. Either she'll leave him with a school friend or with her sister just so the two of them can get away from him. I told you he's a real asshole. Her son might be at her sisters or something right now. The guy just won't take a hint. He makes her life hell just because he's the kids' dad." Laila sighed and took a sip from her wine. He looked down and took a sip from his glass. He didn't notice it but she had glanced over at him for a moment then returned to her drink.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Yeah because you gave me a fake one," she said with a raised brow. The biker couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Fair enough. How's about you give me a fake name too so I don't just call you barkeep?"

"Okay my names Mary then," she smiled.

"Okay Mary." He raised his glass with a grin. She poured herself a drink in the glass she was cleaning then raised it as well.

"Cheers," she said happily. They softly clanked cups then downed their drinks together.

The biker wasn't drunk when he left the bar but he wasn't sober either. He didn't see the look on Mary's face when she saw the tip he left her but he didn't care. He walked out feeling good and happy; having completely forgotten any troubles he might've previously had. He was the last one left inside the bar, except for Mary of course, but no matter how much he drank he wasn't going to go home with her. Instead, he walked outside with his backpack attached to himself and hopped on his bike once again. Despite drinking a good amount of hard liquor, his body was already use to it so he didn't lose balance when he sat down on his motorcycle. He slowly drove down the road and headed towards the motel Mary had told him about. The town looked as peaceful in the dark as it did in daytime. He reached a stop sign and right in front of him was the motel, but he heard some noises while he was stopped. It sounded like arguing inside one of the houses. Inside one of the houses he could see through the screen door in the front that two people were arguing.

 _It's none of your business_ , he thought to himself. He turned back to the road and was about to twist the throttle, but then he heard a loud crash from inside the house. In anger, he cursed under his breath and turned back to the house to see the man standing above the woman on the floor. He parked his bike in front of the house then removed his helmet and backpack. It was a two story house with stone steps in the front leading to the big wooden door that was already open. He walked up those steps, still contemplating whether this was a good idea or not. The woman's cries reassured him and he opened the screen door. The man inside quickly turned to him when he heard the door open.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked. The woman on the floor was Laila from the bar. The two of them locked eyes and immediately recognized each other. He turned his attention back to the man in front of him.

"Why don't you and I take a walk outside," he said calmly. The man raised his eyebrow.

"Look man you better get out of here and mind your own business."

"You're leaving this house," said the biker sternly. "I don't care if you go on your own or if I have to take you out myself." The man scowled and threw the first punch. The biker side stepped and pushed him out of the house. When he turned around he received an uppercut right below the chin and fell backwards, tumbling down the steps. The biker slowly followed him down the steps. The man struggled to stand up with horrible balance. The alcohol reached the bikers nostrils when he stood in front of him.

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled. "This is none of your business."

"Leave now. Don't make me do something I'll regret tomorrow."

"This isn't over," he said breathlessly. He stormed off holding the back of his neck. The biker turned around to see Laila back on her feet, no longer crying but the tears still visible on her cheeks. He calmly walked back up the stairs but stopped in the doorway.

"I'm sorry I came in here like that. I couldn't stay out there and let him do that to you." She just stared at him. "Look, if he comes back I'm in the motel across the street. Just call the front desk and tell me okay?" She nodded hesitantly. He stared into her eyes and finally got a good look at her face. She was beautiful. He stared at her apologetically then closed the door behind him. Laila was doing her absolute best to stop the crying and it was working. She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor with her knees against her chest. She held them close to her and took deep breaths before walking upstairs to check on her son. The biker drove to the motel and did the same routine he did at the last one. Except this time he didn't take out his handguns from the bag. He left both bags by the door, removed his shirt and jacket, and slipped the gun from his back under his pillow again. This room was a bit bigger from the last one and had a table beside the slightly bigger TV. The bathroom was much roomier than the previous one he had been in. He lay down on the bed, grasping the gun under the pillow. The alcohol helped him fall to sleep much faster this time.

The sound of knocking at the door was what woke up the biker the next morning. He held onto the gun as he peeked outside the window to see who it was. It was Laila standing on the other end of his door. He placed his gun under the pillow again then walked over to the door. He opened it and his eyes were burned by the sun. She looked much better than she did the night before. There was a small bruise barely visible on her right eye because she had covered it up with make-up. She was also dressed very nicely so he figured she had to work in a little bit.

"Hey," he said softly. "Is everything okay?" She nodded.

"Can I come in?" she asked with her soft voice. He nodded and opened the door wider so that she may enter. She walked in and sat on the chair in the room. The door was closed and he sat in front of her on the edge of the bed. Her hands held her coat closed tightly. "My name is Laila and I wanted to say thank you," she said. "You didn't have to do that last night."

"Yeah I didn't but I can't stand guys like that." She stared at him long and hard. A smirk appeared on her face before she looked down to her knees.

"Hey," he said soothingly, "it's not your fault. You're going to be okay now. You and your boy are safe." She noticed his tattoo. She loved cursive writing and saw that it read, _Laurie._ "I'll keep an eye on your house just in case he shows up."

"You really don't have to do that for me."

"I want to. I don't want him hurting you any longer." She looked into his eyes and couldn't understand why he was being so generous to her. She had never met this man before last night and yet he had helped her with her problem.

"Who are you?" He looked at her with a look of sorrow.

"I'm nobody," he said as he looked away.

"I know enough to see that you're not from around here. You have to have a name."

"You don't want to know my name. It doesn't matter. Trust me you'll be safer the less you know about me." The two of them stayed silent for a moment. She nodded then stood up from the chair and proceeded to the exit. He beat her to it and opened the door for her. Before she stepped out, she stared into his eyes again. She could see the pain and sadness in his weary eyes. There were wrinkles on this young face from so much stress and hardship throughout his life. She gently touched his arm with her soft hand. There was that feeling again; the soft texture of her skin against his. He could also feel her nails tenderly touching his arm. The feeling he longed for and missed. It reminded him of the past.

"My son and I thank you," she said kindly. She removed her hand and walked to her car. In the passenger seat, he could see her son. Light skinned like his mother and wavy black hair like her as well. The two locked eyes and the boy smiled. He returned the smile and felt the sadness returning. That was all he had now these days; smiles that were fake and had too much sadness behind them. He had almost forgotten what happiness felt like. He could remember but it was far too painful and he knew he didn't deserve to remember those happy moments. The torture and the pain were what he deserved. In the beginning it might've been about survival but he'd realized a long time ago what this journey really was. He deserved this exile and he would stay in it until that one day would come. The day he longed for so many times over. This day was the only dream he had among all the nightmares. Hope for this dream coming true had become a mere flame dimming. Eventually, it would extinguish and he would be left alone in the darkness.


	3. Nothing Left

For the life of him he could not understand why he stayed in this small little town. Like any other time he stayed in a motel, he would leave the morning after and drive to another location or stay on the road till he grew tiresome. Since he was on the road, he never stayed in one place over a day. Crystal River was nothing new from any of the other cities or small towns he had been in. After Angie came to give her gratitude he stayed in his room, checked and cleaned his guns, showered, and washed his bike. All the while looking out the window or glancing towards Angie's house to make sure the scumbag didn't return; he didn't. All was quiet now that he had taught the man a lesson with his fist. The biker began to debate when would be the right time for him to leave. He'd hate to leave and have the husband return to finish the job. He'd hate that but even if it did happen, he would never hear about it once he left. However, he knew it was what he'd expect to happen which meant there was but one thing to do to keep it from happening.

Killing him would be no problem for the biker; he had killed many others for far less noble causes. He stared at the gun in his hand as he sat on the foot of the bed. The revolver was warm in his hand as he clenched the handle then softened his grip. This was the one he carried around every day and he only did so because there was much history between them. In many ways, it was what helped cause all his trouble and torment. He held onto it this long because of the many intentions he had for this weapon. It had been a while since he thought of the many ways he could put this gun to good use. The night before he found another way to put this gun to good use but the only problem was when he would be able to do it. That seemed to be the only way he could leave this town and the sooner he did it the better. He wanted to spend as less time as he possibly could here. Strands of hair were dangling in front of his face as he stared at his gun.

With a sigh he combed the strands back with his hand then he ran his fingers through his beard. It had grown so much since he had been on the road but he was glad it wasn't going down to his chest. He placed the gun in the back of his jeans then walked outside. He hopped on his bike then drove around town, looking for a store. One came up in his view very quickly and he walked inside with people still giving him this look of discomfort. All he bought was a razor, shaving cream, another pack of cigarettes and a bottle of water then he was back on his way to the motel. This town seemed to be so close together with its businesses and houses. The closeness of the town people kind of reminded him of home. He hadn't been there in so long but he thought of it every single day, despite trying not to.

Once he was back in his room, he walked straight to the bathroom with the razor and cream. The shower was turned on and the hot waters steam filled the room. He splashed some water on his face then rubbed the cream on his skin. Once the mirror was fogged up he swiped his hand on the bottom half of it, revealing his mouth but not the rest of his face. He couldn't bear to look at himself in the eyes. Whenever he wanted to shave he didn't mind seeing his beard because it hid away the rest of his changed face. He debated on shaving it all off but he'd come to like it this long so all he did was line it up neatly. The remainder of the cream was washed off and the small parts of skin that was shaved felt so cold and smooth. He returned to the foot of the bed and sat down. One of the cigarettes was pulled out from the pack and he lit it up in his mouth. It was almost completely burned when he heard a knock on the door. He walked over and opened it to see the man who gave him the room. The man was thin and paled skinned. His long, straight, black hair reached his shoulders and he looked nervous as he stood before the biker. The man looked up to him as it seemed like he was half his height.

"Sorry sir but you can't smoke inside the rooms," he stammered. The biker stared at him with the cigarette still in house mouth for a moment before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and handed it to the thin man. He stared down at the dollar then back up at the biker.

"Just take that and leave me alone," he said in a raspy voice. The man nodded nervously then walked away. The cigarette was flicked onto the pavement outside then he replaced it with another. While he was inside, he continued to smoke and stare at the ceiling as he lay on the bed. There was another knock on his door which made him sigh, thinking it was the man from the motel again. He walked to the door and opened it only to find Laila in the doorway.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he replied confused.

"I'm sorry I didn't know if you were busy or not."

"I'm not," he tossed the cigarette on the ground outside.

"I just wanted to come by and invite you to dinner. I know I don't know you that well and you said it'd be safer if I didn't, but I think I do want to know." His eyebrow was raised.

"Look I meant what I said. It's a bad idea to try and get to know each other. Please just take my word for it."

"I feel like this is the only proper way to thank you."

"Your words were enough, trust me."

"Well look, I'm just across the street and I really want to do this for you because of what you did for me. It's the least I can do but if you really don't want to then I understand. We're just across the street if you change your mind. Food will be ready at seven." She gave a small smirk before going back to her car, once again her son was in the passenger seat staring at him. He gave him a bigger smile than his mother did. The biker just smirked as they drove off to their house. The door to his room was shut and he returned to the bed.

At five past six, he was walking toward her house. Being lonely grew tiresome and he kind of wanted some contact with other people. He never said it out loud and he hated having that desire in his head but there it was. It had been hard to find that considering his situation but something was different about Laila. He wondered if it had something to do with how damaged she seemed. As if one damaged soul attracted another or something. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he was now standing on her doorstep, contemplating if this was a good idea or not. Before he could act on his thoughts of leaving at the last second the door was opened. Standing in the doorway was her son, smiling again. He wondered how this boy could be still smile while having a father like his. The innocence of youth was an odd and amazing thing. The boy could still find something to smile about while the adults around him were angry, depressed, or hurt. He wished he could look at life through the same lens children see with.

"He's here," the boy grinned. He stood to the side giving the biker passage into the house. The two of them walked into the kitchen to find Laila pouring some spaghetti noodles into a bowl. She looked over to them and smirked when she saw the biker.

"Changed your mind?" she asked.

"You could say that," he smirked back.

"Go ahead and take a seat at the dinner table. I'll bring the food out in a second." The little boy grabbed the bikers sleeve and pulled him into the dining room. Their house was as nice on the inside as it was on the outside. There was a large wooden table in the middle of the dining room that seated eight people. He sat down at the edge of the table while the boy took the seat across from him. From his point of view, he could see the living room next to the one they were in. It was pretty large as well and filled with nice furniture and the large TV within viewing distance of the seat he was in. The little boy stared at him for a while and the biker couldn't help but smile.

"So what's your name?" the biker asked.

"Mikey," he smiled.

"That's a cool name."

"Yeah I guess. What's yours?"

"I'll tell you my name if you can promise me something."

"Okay what do I have to promise?"

"Just promise that you won't tell my name to anyone. You have to keep it a secret and it'll be between the two of us okay?"

"Why does it have to be a secret? Don't people know your name?"

"That's why it has to be a secret because no one knows it. Since you look like a cool little guy I'm willing to tell it to you if you just promise me that." The kid smiled widely.

"Okay I promise." The biker leaned forward and so did Mikey. He whispered his real name into Mikey's ear.

"Now you're the only one here who knows my name."

"So," he was about to word his name but stopped himself. "Sorry."

"It's cool, man," he said with a smile. "What were you going to ask?"

"Is that really your motorcycle?"

"It is. Do you like motorcycles?"

"They're so awesome. I've never seen one up close before though."

"Yeah they are pretty cool. I don't know what I would do without her; she's my baby." Laila walked over and placed their plates in front of them. The plates had spaghetti and meat balls on them. She walked back in the kitchen and returned with her plate. The biker looked at the glass of water that she didn't bring since he'd been in the house. "So were you expecting me?" he asked pointing to the water.

"I just assumed you would change your mind," she said. "Turns out, I was right." He smiled and the three of them began to eat.

"Wow," he said as he ate a piece of the meat ball, "this is so good."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Did Mikey tell you about how much he likes your bike?"

"Yeah he just did actually."

"You should've seen how amazed he was with it when he first saw it."

"I'm sure that means you're gonna fall in love with them," he winked towards him. "Unless your mom decides they're too dangerous for you."

"She kind of does already," he said with a frown.

"When he saw it," she said taking a drink of water, "he said he wanted one and I just told him, in your dreams." The biker chuckled.

"Don't worry, Mikey. My mom didn't like it when I drove my bike either. Your mom will get over it like mine did," he grinned.

"Not a chance," she laughed softly. "I'm sure your mom is still worried about you and that bike."

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I'm sure she still is." It had been so long since he had an actual home cooked meal. It'd also been a while since he had fun conversations such as the ones he had with them. It all felt so normal and familiar. Deep inside he knew this was why he showed up on her doorstep. He subconsciously wanted to enjoy some normal human contact. The smiles he had on his face were genuine and natural. It was because of this he didn't regret his decision to come here. He had three helpings of her spaghetti before he was finally full. Laila glanced at her wrist watch and turned to her son.

"It's time for you to get ready for bed."

"Can we talk more about bikes tomorrow?" he asked turning to the biker.

"It's all up to your mom, buddy," he said. The boy looked to his mom this time.

"We'll see but for now you have to get ready for bed so go."

"Goodnight," he said and then mouthed the biker's name.

"Night," he laughed softly. Laila stood up and left to the kitchen. When she came back, she had two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

"Unfortunately, I don't have whatever you were drinking the other night but I'm going to drink some wine. I brought the other glass so you won't think I'm a rude host who won't offer her a drink."

"Its fine," he chuckled. "I drink wine on occasion." She nodded and handed him the glass, then poured some into it. The two of them took a sip of their wine.

"Do you have kids?" she asked.

"I do actually. I can't see my kid though, unfortunately."

"Oh I'm sorry. Are you separated with your wife?" He looked down at the ring on his right hand. It was silver and around his ring finger.

"It's complicated."

"I'm sorry." He took another drink from his glass.

"It's okay. I've made my peace with it."

"I don't know what I'd do without my little boy. I love him to death."

"I can see that and it's a great thing. I've come across a lot of different people while driving across the states. Only a few people like you though which is a bit sad. I wish I could've met more like you." She shyly smiled. "The bartender from the other night told me you have a sister around here?"

"Yeah she helps out a lot with my son and my situation. Yes I've thought about living with her to get away from him but I couldn't put her through that. I have enough problems with him hurting me but I'll be damned if he'd lay a hand on my sister. My other sisters don't live around here but he knows about all of them. Those are the perks he gets for being with me for seven years." She took another drink, realizing how much she's dealt with for seven years. "He was so different when we first met. I actually loved him so much. It was all so different but after my son was born he changed a lot. I guess he felt tied down or something because of our son so he took it out on me. He started drinking and it all went downhill from there. I thought we had fixed this and it all smoothed over but then it just got worse." She finished her glass of wine with this last gulp. "It's hard to watch someone you love turn into a complete stranger."

"I can imagine," he said staring down at the table. He felt ashamed of himself by seeing her point of view. It hit him where it hurt because of his own experience but it made it all the more easier to decide whether he was going to leave this town or not. "Your son doesn't seem to be too affected by it all."

"He puts on a brave face," she said with a smile. "He's such a good kid and so funny. He is what keeps me going when everything has put me down. My son is my world." He put his hand on top of hers.

"I promise you, I will not leave this place until I know you and your son are safe." She put one of her fingers on top of his.

"I can't thank you enough," she smiled. "Please tell me your name."

"I explained that to you already," he smiled back. She used her other hand to pour more wine into their glasses.

"Is there anything you can tell me?" They stared at each other as they drank from their glasses. He smiled when his glass touched the wood of the table.

"I'm thirty-one. I love motorcycles and drinking whiskey. I have traveled through ten states, not including the one I grew up in. I don't stay in once place for more than a day."

"Except this town?" She asked.

"This town is different."

"I'm sure it's been one of the weirdest ones you've visited."

"Not entirely," he chuckled. "It is in my top five though."

"I've never actually left this place for a long time. I probably should've a long time ago."

"It's your home. It's hard to leave your home especially since you're a mother. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to go back home."

"You can't?" He paused for a moment and stared at the wine in his glass.

"There's nothing left for me there anymore." She held his finger tighter.

"You don't have any other family?" she asked, trying to change the subject. She could see that his home was a real tough subject.

"Just a sister and my mom. I'll see them again soon though, I know that for sure." They drank more in silence for a bit. Their hands were still touching and he liked it a lot. It had been too long since either of them felt a soft warm touch such as this one. Her eyes looked up from the table towards him.

"So what is it you plan on doing?" she asked. He gave her a hard stare and sighed.

"Laila, I'm not a good man. I've done so many things in my life; horrible things. I'm done justifying all that I did in the past and accepted that I'm just a bad guy. There's a reason I've traveled so much and why I've been alone the whole ride. Those things I did are why I'm able to do what I plan to do to that man who has hurt you so much." She inhaled deeply as her stare into his eyes grew sentimental.

"You're going to kill him," she whispered. He didn't respond to her and she knew he wouldn't because she wasn't asking him if he was going to. She knew this was what he meant and she was trying to figure out if she was okay with it or not. "Does it really have to come to that?"

"If we manage to put him in jail, he'll get out eventually. Most likely, he'll be more pissed than when he went in. This is the first place he'll go."

"There has to be another way."

"In my experience, there is no other way."

"Please don't do it until I'm sure that's all that's left." He stared at her and thought about it for a moment. There wasn't a certainty that she'll decide quickly. However, time seemed to no longer matter to him anymore.

"Okay I won't. You give me the word should you decide it's what you want."

"Thank you again." He nodded. Her hand slipped out from his and she began to gather the plates but he softly pressed down on them.

"I got it. Go say goodnight to your boy." She stared at him and gave him a small smile. She walked upstairs while he took the plates and cups to the kitchen to wash them. _This was a bad idea_ , he thought. If he spent too much time here, he knew it could lead to bad news. Someone could notice him or cops could find him hiding out here. Despite knowing it was a bad idea, he knew he'd stay as long he needed to. He sighed knowing that he no longer cared if he was caught or not. What was the point of running anymore? What kind of life would he live doing all this? This stopped being a way of life many, many miles ago. He'd much rather be in jail than on the run. There was nothing left for him on the road. He prolonged the inevitable long enough now. He began living his punishment sentence the second he took his bike on this long journey. So he would stay here as long as he was needed for Mikey and Laila. That scumbag needed to be dealt with anyway. He finished the dishes and waited by the stairs. Laila walked down and escorted him to the door.

"Thank you for the great food," he said.

"The least I could do."

"And thank you for the company." She nodded and he opened the door.

"Do you want to come by again tomorrow?" He looked at her. "Mikey really loves talking about bikes with you, even though I don't," she laughed.

"Sure," he grinned. "Same time?" She nodded then he walked out but turned back as he stood in the doorway. She looked at him confused as to why he stopped. Again he smiled.

"My name's Thomas."


	4. A Break

It was the first time he'd heard his own name out loud in months. As he walked to his room, he realized how good it felt to finally tell someone who he was. Finally someone within miles knew him by his name. Now both her and her son knew his real name. Months ago he wouldn't have even thought twice about giving someone his name. Now Laila knew but somewhere deep inside, he knew he could trust her. Even though she didn't know about his past, she still knew about the darkness this world hides away. She knew how the real world was just as he did and he found it odd since no one else here seemed to know of it. Just like she said before, people here like to live the lie. This town seemed to be so sheltered and he was surprised he'd only found one corrupted person inside. Perhaps there were others but they hadn't revealed themselves yet. Either that or this town was incredibly lucky to only have one roach squeeze through the door.

Once inside of his room he pulled out the gun from behind his pants and lay down on the bed. He slipped his hand underneath the pillow once again while gripping the gun firmly. He looked outside of the window and the town he was in suddenly faded. Another town was formed in its place; a town all too familiar to him. There was a man picking up his child with his wife by his side. That could've so easily been him. The woman had wavy, dark brown hair and her smile was so bright and beautiful. She had an hour glass figured body with a light skin tone. Thomas smiled remembering her beauty and how much he missed this woman. The real beauty had come when the man turned around revealing his daughter he held in his arms. She shared many features from her parents and this caused a tear to drop from his eye. It couldn't be explained how much he missed staring at her adorable little face. She had her father's cheeks and her mother's brown eyes.

There was a glimpse of the man holding this beautiful little girl. He knew who it was but he couldn't recognize this man's face. This man's face hadn't been seen for many months and it was his mission not to see this person. The last time he saw this man's face it was much different from what he looked at now. This man looked happy and cheerful. That had all changed now and he hated himself for it. Gazing at this family was what he did not want to see but it was his punishment. _A cruel punishment,_ he would think at times but shortly after he knew it was what he deserved. He would give anything in the world to take it all back but unable to change what he did was what he would live with for the rest of his life.

With a big inhale of air, his eyes opened. He could see the town he was in now and no longer the place he wished he was. As he got to his feet, he noticed how hard he was gripping the pistol. He dropped it on the bed and walked over to the bathroom. As soon as he entered he ducked the mirror and reached for the shower nozzle, but stopped as soon as he touched it. He turned back to the door and hesitatingly looked to the mirror. The face within the mirror was much different than the one he saw the night before. It was withered to the point where he couldn't recognize it anymore. This was not the man he remembered at all. This face had gone through so much since that beautiful time. It was a much more innocent time and probably one of the purest memories he will ever have from his life. There was nothing bad or negative happening during that embrace. It was nothing but pure happiness and joy.

White hairs were beginning to show on his beard and his hair. They were only visible if you looked for them however. He had become a much different man and he wished he could say he was glad. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about these changes. This was a different face from what he remembered so it was hard to hate himself. The fact that it was altered was what hurt him as well because it was a reminder of how much he's changed from the man he used to be. He returned to his bed and fell onto it, back first. The blank ceiling was all he stared at and he didn't even bother with the pistol under his pillow this time. Anyone wanting him dead would be doing him a service.

The next morning he awoke around noon. The sun burned his eyelids from the window so he turned over onto his side. This might've been the most comforting sleep he'd had in months, perhaps due to leaving the gun alone for the night. It also might've been the weight lifting off of his shoulders by finally acknowledging who he was to someone. It'd been so long since he'd told anyone he was beginning to feel like Thomas never even existed. Whatever the case, he slept peacefully for once with no nightmares or memories to fill his head. He opened his eyes to see the clock on the nightstand. Usually he woke up in the a.m. so sleeping in till later was odd but he enjoyed this sleep so much he figured what the hell. His eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep once again.

This time when his eyes opened, the time was three-thirty in the afternoon. He rolled to his back and stretched his limbs, cracking the bones. He got to his feet and walked over to the bathroom. He walked out a few minutes later in a towel with his hair wet. Another pair of clothes were grabbed and slipped on before he sat down at the foot of his bed again. The TV was switched on so he could pass the time with whatever was on. He stayed on the news for a bit before changing it to some movie. A few hours passed then before he knew it, it was time to go to Laila's house. He put on his jacket then walked over to her house. Mikey ran to the door with a smile on his face when he saw the large shadow behind it.

"Hey!" he said excitedly.

"Hey," replied Thomas with a smile. The smell of food reached his nose and his stomach let out a low growl.

"So," said Mikey clearly not hearing it, "I searched some bikes on my computer."

"Oh really?" he chuckled. The two of them walked into the living room and sat down in front of the TV. "Does your mom know?" The boy raised his eyebrows and smiled like he had a secret he didn't want to share. It brought a smile to Thomas' face. "So what did you see?"

"A lot of Harley's. I saw a few that looked like yours and then I saw some really low ones. There were also ones with really high handles then there really big looking ones. They were way bigger than your bike."

"I think I know which ones you're talking about. The really bulky ones are for when you're going on long trips and traveling. What kind did you like?"

"I liked the other ones that weren't like yours. I forgot what they were called."

"The sport bikes? They look like they go real fast?"

"Yeah those!"

"Your mom would kill you," he laughed. Laila walked into the living room.

"Why?" she asked with a smile. "What did he do now?" The two of them looked up at her with shying away smiles. "Oh you're not going to tell me?" she said with a raised brow. "It must be about your stupid bikes then."

"Whoa now," Thomas said, "don't bring in my bike into this."

"Yeah mom his bike isn't stupid." She laughed and looked at her guest.

"He's known you two days and you've already turned him against me," she chuckled. "That's so sad."

"It's the power of the motorcycle. Maybe if you owned one he wouldn't switch sides so easily," he smirked.

"Yeah in his dreams," she said as she walked back into the kitchen. Thomas turned to the kid.

"Sorry buddy I tried." Mikey smiled as he stared at his new friend. Thomas could tell he'd probably been the first fun guy he's ever met. He didn't even want to think about how his father was with him. The two of them walked over to the kitchen table and sat down beside each other. Time had passed and the sun had set. Laila loved that her house was full of laughs for once. She loved hearing her son laugh. Laila brought out their plates filled with chicken, rice, and corn. The two of them dug in immediately. She sat down with her own plate and brought a pitcher of iced tea.

"So you're still corrupting my sons mind with motorcycles huh?" she asked. Thomas looked up at her.

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" She tilted her head to the side with a smirk. "He loves it all by himself. I had nothing to do with it," he chuckled.

"His computer was full of pictures of motorcycles." Mikey looked up at her with his eyes widened. "Yeah," she said locking eyes with him, "I saw them. I know everything going on with you," she said with a deep voice.

"She does this a lot," her son whispered to Thomas, making him laugh. Laila laughed too as she continued eating.

"You know I was thinking about something." The two of them looked up at her intrigued over what she was going to say. "Why don't we start you off with a bicycle before we go to a motorcycle?" Mikey's eyes lightened up and his smile grew wide.

"Really?" he said in disbelief.

"Yeah we can go shopping for one this weekend."

"Thanks mom!" Thomas leaned in to him.

"After you get that down you can ask for a motorcycle," he whispered. She heard him and stared at him.

"Really?" she said trying not to laugh. "I heard you." Mikey leaned in to him this time.

"That's what I was going to do," he whispered back. Thomas and Laila couldn't help themselves and laughed together. The food filled them up fairly quickly and Mikey started to get tired. Laila noticed this as she grabbed the plates from the table.

"Go upstairs and get ready for bed okay?" she said softly. Her son nodded as she walked to the kitchen with the plates. She made sure he walked upstairs before she returned to Thomas. She sat down in her seat as he sat there with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Dinner was amazing," he smiled.

"Thanks," she returned the smile.

"No wine tonight?"

"I actually finished the last bottle last night after you left," she chuckled.

"So selfish," he laughed. "You just had to have it all to yourself huh?" She nodded while grinning.

"I'm addicted what can I say?" After the two finished laughing softly, she stared at him as he looked down at the table. "You surprise me so much you know that?"

"Is that good?"

"In a way, yes. You're so good with my son and what you've done for me is more than generous. Never in a million years would I ask a stranger to do for me what you did and I didn't even need to ask you." His smirk faded because he knew where this was going. "I have to ask you something, Thomas." He didn't say anything; instead he merely stared at her. "From what I've seen since meeting you, you seem like a good man. You've done a noble thing for me and yet you still seem to hate yourself. Why?" He sighed and looked away from her. There was no point in hiding away from it anymore. She would discover the truth eventually and he knew he would rather her hear his side than the news'.

"I used to be a good man," he said in a raspy voice, "but I'm not anymore. I've killed so many people and during the time I did all I could to justify my actions. Now I know that I was just fooling myself." He smiled now remembering what he tried to throw away for so long. "I had a wife," he choked up, "and a daughter."

"Your tattoo?" she asked. "Is that your wife?"

"No Laurie is my daughter. My wife's name was Emilia. I loved them so much. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for them." He looked down in disappointment but Laila reached over and touched his hand with her soft fingers.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she whispered. He pulled his hand back and looked into her eyes.

"It's fine. It's been a long time since I've said all this out loud. Just a matter of time I suppose."


	5. Ghosts

Everything had grown blurry with how fast Thomas sped through the street. One of his best friends had given him an alarming phone call telling him to come to the house quickly. Thomas knew his friend well; they were practically brothers, so it was simple for him to hear the fear in his voice. He practically jumped off his bike when he arrived at the house. John opened the front door and allowed his friend inside.

"Wow you got here fast," said John.

"You did say it was important." Thomas tossed his helmet onto the couch in the living room and waited for his friend to join him. John left to his bedroom and Thomas could hear the rumbling of the drawers as he searched through the room. John finally entered the living room with a big black duffel bag. He dropped in front of Thomas and it made a loud thud when it hit the floor. "What's that?"

"That's your half. You have to take it and get the fuck out of here."

"What the hell is going on man? Why?"

"Dallas knows what we've been doing. He knows about the money we've kept to ourselves and he's gonna do what he does best."

"John I don't know about-"

"Look man just get your family out of here please. I don't want Emilia and Laurie to be without their dad. Take them out of this fucking place and go somewhere peaceful. Start a new life without all this bullshit." Thomas looked his friend in the eyes. "We can't stay here and fight. You know I love a fight as much as you do but this time we have to run. You have your family to think about."

"What about you?"

"I'm leaving too. I'm just gonna grab a few things and take off; maybe go to Mexico or something." Thomas smirked.

"The tacos?" John laughed.

"You know it bro. They're my weakness." The two of them stopped laughing as they realized this might be the last time they had a moment like this. They embraced on another with a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you," said Thomas.

"I'll miss you too man." They let go of each other. "You stay out of trouble okay? We have to live our new lives better than our last."

"An honest living huh?"

"Yeah," chuckled John. "However hard it's going to be. Take care of Emilia and your little girl."

"I will." Thomas grabbed the bag and started walking out, but then they heard a crash at the back of the house. The two of them turned to the back but John quickly shoved Thomas out the front door. "No!" called out his friend as the front door shut on his face. Thomas quickly ran to the window at the front of the house to see what was happening inside. Men ran into the living room from the back of the house and attacked John. He knocked one down but the others grabbed him by the arms and kicked the back of his legs to bring him to his knees. The other man stood up and struck John in the face with his pistol. The man then pointed the gun against his forehead and pulled the trigger.

Thomas didn't yell or say anything as he watched his friend get shot. Instead he ran to his bike and sped off to his house. He didn't realize till halfway to the house that he squeezed throttle too hard. He eased up and parked in front of his house. Emilia's car was in the driveway. Thomas was so preoccupied with leaving that he forgot the bag on his bike. He ran inside the house and gathered as many clothes as he could before Emilia entered the room. She stared at him worriedly and he returned the look right back to her. She saw the clothes messily thrown into the bag and immediately knew as if she read his mind.

"What happened?" she finally said.

"Where's Laurie?"

"At your moms. Tell me what is going on?"

"Dallas. He's found out what John and I have been doing. John's dead." Her eyes widened.

"What?! How?! When?!"

"We can't talk about that now, Em. We have to pack up and leave. We'll pick up Laurie on the way just help me pack."

"Tom is this really happening?" she said sadly. Thomas wrapped her hands with his own.

"I'm sorry, Em. You always told me to get out of this and I never listened. I promise after we get the hell out of here and leave all this behind we'll live a normal life."

"You've said that before."

"I know and I've let you down so many times but we have Laurie now. I can't keep screwing up like this. I promise things will get better." She held his hands up against her soft cheek.

"You were always there where it counted; with me and our girl. That was why I let this go on. That was why I stayed blind. I shouldn't have done that."

"I promise," he whispered before kissing her lips, "things will be different." She kissed him back and released his hands. The two of them then continued to pack their clothes without another word. They threw some bags into the car before Emilia left back into the house. Thomas heard a soft scream and rushed into the house. There in the living room stood Dallas along with two other men and Emilia sitting nervously on the couch.

"Hey Tommy," said Dallas happily. "I've been looking for you."

"Dal please," pleaded Thomas, "don't hurt her."

"Well that all depends on you. Where's my money?"

"I'll tell you but you just have to let us go."

"Tommy," he laughed, "you should know better than anyone," then his smile faded, "I don't negotiate." He pointed his gun to Emilia's head. With tears in her eyes she looked him in the eyes and mouthed the words, I love you before a bullet was shot through the side of her head. Thomas cried out in anger as he pulled out his pistol. He pulled the trigger too fast and shot Dallas in the leg. The two men pulled out their own guns so Thomas shot them both in the chest. Dallas fired a bullet into Thomas' chest when he landed on the ground. The bullet pushed Thomas through the front door but it didn't leave a severe wound. He grunted in pain as he ran toward his bike. He squeezed the throttle and his bike roared as he sped away from his home. Blood was dripping from his wound but he ignored it in the hopes of getting as far away from them as possible.

Thomas sped through the town until finally reaching nowhere. There were no more buildings surrounding him and no more people. He stopped the bike and once it came to a complete halt he fell off it holding his wound. With his free hand he grabbed his cell phone and dialed his sister's number. He didn't hear her voice instead he heard the robotic sound of the voicemail.

"Shay," he breathed, "I'm sorry for everything. Please, for the sake of my little girl, help her. I have to leave. I don't know when I'll be back or if I'll ever come back but please help mom out with her. Don't believe anything you hear or see on TV. None of it is true. I loved her with all my heart and this is entirely my fault. I love you, sis." He ended the call then snapped the phone in half. Tears began to slide down his cheeks until he applied some hard pressure onto his wound, snapping him out of the weariness and grief. Thomas hopped back onto the bike and squeezed the throttle once again. The engine roared and echoed throughout the empty area. The sun was beginning to rise up into the sky but his nightmare had just started.

"Oh God," she said sorrowfully.

"She was my everything. She stood by me when everything turned horrible and because of me she paid for it." Laila put her hand over his and he held onto her.

"What about Laurie?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried to contact my sister or my mom since I left. I can still hear the sirens from that night. I was so tempted to take her with me but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to her or Emilia. That wasn't the life she wanted for her daughter. My sister would give her a better life than I ever could. I'd give anything to see any of them again or to even hold Em in my arms. The police pinned everything on me, including John. I know that much. The news is in every state. I've been on the run ever since."

"Jesus Christ," she said softly. "Thomas, I'm so sorry."

"Now you understand why I hate myself so much. I got my best friend and the love of my life killed." The tears stopped but she was beginning to get teary eyed as well. "I'm not the good guy, Laila," he said as he locked eyes with her. "No matter what I do I'll never be the good guy. I made my decisions and I'm living with the punishment. After all this I can believe that we create our own hell but it's not down below; it's here on Earth." He stood up and she did as well. He started to walk to the front door and she followed. Before he could leave she turned him around and embraced him with a hug. She leaned back her head to stare into his eyes.

"No matter what you did or how you feel I know this to be true. Even though you like to think otherwise I know that you have a good heart. You may not see it now but you will eventually. If you truly believe that you've created your own hell then you have to believe you can create your own heaven." She held him close to her and gently squeezed him with tears in her eyes. "You're a good man, Thomas," she whispered in his ear. When they separated they stared at one another but he never said anything. He merely nodded and walked down the stairs with her words swimming around in his head. He walked slowly across the street with all these memories he tried so desperately to shield away. He tried to see what she saw but he couldn't. It was so hard to see anything with these horrible memories he had. Not even the very bright headlights of the car grabbed his attention. When he finally turned to the bright light, all he could feel was pain all over his body as he hit the bumper then smacked against the windshield. He rolled off of the hood of the car onto the hard, cold pavement. The pain surged through his body. The door of the car opened and he expected a worried town person to come to his aid. Instead, he received a kick to his abdomen then a punch to his face. The bright light blinded him a bit until the person stood in front of it.

"How'd that feel, asshole?" said the man. Finally his eyes adjusted revealing Laila's husband standing over him. "I hope you enjoyed that because I'm sure gonna enjoy coming back home." He threw his fist onto Thomas' nose then again on his cheek. "I'll be back, I'm gonna go say hi to my wife." Thomas, in pain, turned onto his side and watched the man walk away from him towards Laila's house.


	6. The Rage

Laila was upstairs, still reeling from what she had just heard. She knew Thomas was a killer but she didn't know he had been through so much. She looked through the crack of her son's door to see him still sleeping peacefully. Even looking at her son made her think of him. It was no wonder he was so good with her little boy. How many times during his trip did he wish he could see his daughter? She knew she wouldn't be able to survive as long as he did. Her love for her son was too much. She'd move planets for him if she could but to be apart from him, that thought was torturous. It all made sense to her now. He'd been alone for so long that he wouldn't even bother to bond with anyone else. Why would he? His wife and daughter were no longer a part of his life. It was very hard not to feel bad for him. All she could do was hope that what she said got to him and helped him see what a good man he actually is. In his eyes he's a monster but in hers, he's her hero. There was a knock on the door that broke her out of her deep thinking. _It must be Thomas_ , she thought. She hoped he'd return to talk to her some more so she could help him see. Slowly, she walked down the stairs and saw the tall shadow in the glass of the door. A sigh of relief escaped her as she thought about what they would talk about during the night. She would help him through this just like he's helped her. She reached for the knob and twisted it.

"I'm so glad you're back," she said as she opened the door.

"I am too, babe," said the man in the doorway. Her eyes widened and her heart sank. She was speechless as he slowly walked in.

"Nolan," she stuttered as she cautiously walked away from him.

"It was me you were expecting right?" he said rhetorically. "It's nice to see you kept the place all nice and clean. I really enjoyed our little break but it's nice to be back home don't you think?"

"Yeah," she said fearfully.

"How's my boy?"

"He-he's fine. He's asleep."

"Whatever happened to that guy from the other night?" he grinned. She shrugged while still walking back towards the backdoor. "It's funny because before I came here there was this guy lying in the street who looked just like him." Her eyes began to tear up as she thought about the worse scenario. He grabbed her by the throat which made her yelp. "I just want to know, did you fuck him here in my house? Tell me the truth."

"I didn't," she choked up.

"You lying bitch," he snarled as he tossed her to the floor. She tried to quickly run to the back but he grabbed by her hair and flung her into the kitchen. As she fell she reached out for anything to keep her from the ground but all she could grab was the plate rack, which fell to the floor with her. Her son was awakened upstairs by the shattering sounds of the plates downstairs. She fell onto her stomach on the clean tiles then when she turned around; he slapped her across her cheek sending back onto her stomach. "You let that son of a bitch into my goddamn house," he said as he flipped her over and wrapped his hand around her neck. "Why do you always have to piss me off?" She reached for his face and scratched some skin from his cheek. He tightened his grip on her neck then grabbed both her hands and held them above her head. "You know what? You're gonna welcome your husband properly back into his house," he said as he removed his hand from her throat and down to his pants. She squirmed around more violently when she heard him unbuckle his pants. Using her knees, she shoved them into the back of his thighs; forcing him to loosen his grip on her hands. One of her hands was loose so she grabbed one of the plates on the floor and smashed it into the side of his head. None of them noticed Mikey looking over the doorway with tears in his eyes. He started to walk backwards but felt a hand go over his mouth. A soft voice shushed him in his ear and when he looked over his shoulder there was a bloodied and battered Thomas beside him. He turned the little boy to face him.

"You go up to your room and don't come out until me or your mom comes to get you okay?" he whispered. Mikey nodded and without hesitation ran upstairs. When Mikey was out of his sight he pulled out the handgun from the behind his pants and slowly made his way through the hallway.

"You bitch!" he yelled holding his bloodied ear. Laila was now standing above him and didn't hesitate to grab a vase from beside the dining table. "What the hell are you going to do with that? Huh?!" He reached out for her but she ducked around his arm and smashed the vase down on the other side of his head; causing him to run into one of the chairs. She ran into the hallway and saw Thomas in the dark with his gun. He motioned for her to go to the backdoor and she nodded. Nolan got to his feet and saw her ran for the backdoor so he followed. Unfortunately when he ran into the hallway, he saw Thomas in the corner of his eye with the gun so he reached out and grabbed his hand. The gun was twisted out of his hand and fell to the floor, but he punched Nolan in the face sending him backwards. He bent down to pick up the gun but rammed his shoulder into Thomas' battered body, pinning him against the wall. He shoved his elbow into his ribs before he noticed Laila running out the backdoor. Thomas slid down the wall to the floor while Nolan ran after his wife. He opened the door and ran after her. He caught up to her fairly quick and grabbed her shoulder but when he turned her around, she shoved a sharp, broken piece of porcelain dish into his knee. He yelled out in anger and punched her in her right eye. The punch knocked her down to the ground then he walked over to her to continue the battery. Thomas ran up behind him and hit him in the back of the head with the gun. The hit turned him around allowing Thomas to punch him one more time into the ground. With Nolan now on the ground, reeling from the hits to the head, Thomas pointed the gun to him. There was anger in his eyes as he looked down onto this man. Laila looked up at him and saw the rage fill his eyes. This was what he talked about with her earlier. He looked over to her, breathing heavy from the pain.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She stood up to her feet, still feeling the pain in her face. She stood beside him and looked down to her husband.

"I'll be fine," she said.

"Let's end this." He pointed the gun to Nolan but she put her hand on his arm. He looked at her surprised and confused. "What?" She shook her head. "Laila we can't let this scumbag live; for your safety and your sons." She stared at him with sorrow in his eyes but all she could see in his were anger.

"This is what your problem was," she said softly. The confusion didn't leave his face. "You said it yourself that you were violent and that you've killed so many people. I won't let you add more to your hell, Thomas. I can't do that because you're only proving that you're a bad person but you're not."

"Laila you can't honestly believe that I have to let this son of a bitch go?"

"You don't have to kill him. Please don't kill him. I don't want him to live because he's the father of my son or because he's my husband. I want him to live so that we can save you. There's always another way, Thomas. Do it for me." The anger was beginning to leave his eyes. "Do it for Emilia." She put her hand on his and softly pushed the gun down to his side. "For Laurie." He stared at her in disbelief and finally understood. She took the gun out of his hands and wrapped her arms around him. The violence was what got him into this mess. His violence and greed were what pushed his family out of his life. He thought he had learned the first time he got out of illegal business but he didn't; if he did then he wouldn't have been so easily pulled back in. Nolan was moving around on the ground and the two of them hugging was the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.

"So cute," he coughed. "If you think this is going to stop me then you're dead wrong, slut." The two of them separated and turned back to him.

"Mikey and I are leaving tomorrow," she said sternly. "If you so much as follow us to where we're going, I swear to God I will put a bullet through your skull."

"You wouldn't dare." She smirked then pulled the trigger on the gun, firing a bullet right into his groin. He cried out in pain as he held it with his hands.

"Don't think I'll hesitate next time. Now get the fuck out of my house." She put her arm on his back and walked back inside the house, while Nolan struggled to get back to his feet. He sat down in the living room, the soft cushions of the couch feeling amazing on his bruised body. Laila ran upstairs to her son and gave him many hugs and kisses, then told him to pack up his stuff. She returned to Thomas in the living room and sat beside him. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay. Getting hit by a car isn't exactly the best feeling in the world but I don't think anything is broken. What about you?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to be okay."

"Shooting his dick," he smiled, "that was cold."

"I didn't kill him," she grinned.

"How's Mikey?"

"He's packing. He's glad I'm okay and I think he'll feel much better once we live this place."

"Where you gonna go?" She shrugged.

"Some place nice. I have money saved up for when I was going to leave his sorry ass so I think we'll be fine. What about you? Do you want to come with us?"

"I can't. I have a few last things left to do." Her brow rose up as she stared him unsurely.

"Like what?"

"As I traveled more and more, I figured this would end with me using that gun on myself. Hell, I wanted it to end that way. After this though, there are a few more things that I want to do now."

"I don't like the way you're talking."

"I'm not going to kill myself don't worry."

"Then why do I have this bad feeling?"

"I know what I have to do now, Laila. I have you to thank for that. Without you I probably would've killed myself in a few days but now you've helped me see a different path. I'll always be indebted to you for that. Thank you for saving me." She hugged him once again, even though she still had that bad feeling. She wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do but she was glad that he now felt differently about his life.

"So I've got one more question for you," she asked as they separated again. He sighed and awaited her question with a smile. "How's Texas this time of year?"


	7. Home

Laila and Thomas had argued a bit the night before over them going with him back home but she won in the end. Once again he found himself on that beautiful road with his bike except this time they had two other companions. Laila followed him in her car with her son right beside her. He was still a bit uneasy from all that he saw the night before but the sight of Thomas on his motorcycle was enough to change his mood. He wished that he could be doing that because it looked like so much fun. Laila watched her son looking at their biker friend in awe from the corner of her eye. The way he admired him always brought a smile to her face. The cool wind was hitting his face again and for a moment he forgot how much he missed this. Seeing the beautiful sights the world has to offer changed his view of it a lot of the time. It was only after he got off his bike would he be reminded of the worse aspects the world has. That was before Laila helped him see through different lens.

On his bike ride he often thought of her and how much she believed in him. It reminded him so much of Emilia. The love that they had for one another was always unreal to him. After all they had gone through she still stayed with him till the end. He looked up to the sky and saw her beautiful face in the sunlight shining through the clouds. Before their money troubles she would always lighten him up by doing or saying funny things. She always knew what to say except when she was mad. The night she found out about him being back in old business was the worse and the best he ever had with her. The night he knew he was going to be a father was what brought them back together. He turned back to Laila's car and smiled. It was because of her that he could hear her voice and see her beautiful face again. There was no more reason to hide all those amazing moments from his mind. His mind was set in what he was going to do once he returned home.

In all the days that passed after he left home, he never experienced excitement again. It wasn't until the night before when he was talking with Laila. Now that he had decided to return home, he could feel the excitement growing inside of him. He hadn't felt it in so long that it felt so strange and unfamiliar. As the road continued on he enjoyed this feeling more and more. Hours had passed as they drove but this never bothered him before. The only time they would stop was when Laila would get tired so she would honk so they could stop. They would stop by the nearest hotel and rest up. As soon as they were all awake they were back on the road. They lived off of nearby fast food or diners they would see signs for. _We're eating home cooked food for a month,_ Laila would tell her son since they hardly ever ate out in the streets. They were on this isolated road with no other cars in either lane so Thomas had pulled over to the side. Laila immediately thought something was wrong and when he got off his bike he saw the worry on her face. He walked up to her window, looking back and forth for any cars.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. He turned back and chuckled at her worried look.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to get your opinion on something."

"Okay," she said unsurely with her brow raised. He leaned over and whispered something into her ear. When they separated her look changed from worried to fearful. "I don't know about that."

"Come on it'll be fun," he said reassuringly. She stared at the road ahead of her then at her son. He stared up at her in confusion but she smirked as she admired her child.

"So Thomas has this amazing idea," she turned to him, "that I'm not too sure about if I'm being honest." She turned back to her son. "But I think you'd enjoy it, actually, I know you would."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Do you want to ride with him for a bit now that there aren't many cars on the road?" Mikey's eyes lit up and he gave her a cheeky grin.

"Really?" he asked excitedly to which she nodded approvingly.

"Come on lets go," Thomas said. Mikey immediately ran out of the car and towards the bike. Thomas turned back to his mother with a reassuring smile.

"I won't let anything happen to him."

"You better not," she said sternly but still kept her smirk on her face. Thomas returned to his bike and removed his helmet. Mikey was already sitting on the bike while the oversized helmet was being strapped onto his head. He was small enough to sit in the front with Thomas so he placed the boy's hands onto the handlebars. His feet dangled a bit but his grip was tight on the metal bars.

"You hold on tight okay?" said Thomas. Mikey nodded with the helmet moving back and forth on his head. "Oh wait," he said before he removed his sunglasses, "you can't ride a motorcycle without these." He put the sunglasses over Mikey's eyes which made him grin even more. He put one hand on the brake and giving a thumb up in the air to Laila before putting the other hand on the throttle. She still had a worried look on her face but started her engine so she could follow them. He twisted the throttle and they took off slowly onto the road. As they sped up, Thomas' long hair started to go with the wind. The air brushed against Mikey's soft face harder as their speed began to increase, his smile never faded though. Their clothes started to flap as the wind grew stronger. Thomas hadn't driven without a helmet in a while so the wind flowing through his hair felt amazing. Mikey was overjoyed as he saw the scenery to his side pass on by. The yellow dashes on the road moved faster and faster as he looked down. Thomas stared glanced at Mikey's small hands right beside his. This sight truly touched his heart and gave him a huge smile. He was reminded of how it felt to be a father and he thought for sure he had long abandoned these feelings, but he found them once again. It felt incredible to him as he remembered holding his little baby girls hand within his. He could only imagine how much she had grown since he'd been gone and how much like her mother she would look. A tear escaped his eye but was quickly blown away with the hard wind. The night sky had come, along with the illuminating stars. He stopped at the first hotel they found and drove into the parking lot.

"That was so awesome!" yelled out Mikey.

"So I take it you loved it?" asked Thomas as he got off the bike and helped him off as well.

"Yes!" shouted the boy as he wrapped his arms around Thomas' waists. He put rubbed his heavy hand on the kids back as softly as he could. Laila parked into a parking spot and walked out of the car just in time to see them hug. She chuckled as she watched her son run towards her with this gleaming smile. "Did you see me?!"

"I did," she said happily. "You looked like such an awesome biker with your oversized helmet and shades," she laughed.

"Thank you so much for letting me go with him." He wrapped his arms around her waist as well. She bent down and cradled his head with her hands.

"You're welcome, sweetie," she said placing a kiss on his head. "Go ahead and grab your bag so we can go get a room for the night okay?" He nodded and ran to the car for his stuff. She walked over to Thomas who sat on his bike waiting for her. "You do realize he's going to do anything to get a motorcycle now right?"

"That was the idea," he chuckled.

"You have any idea how much heartache you've set me up for in the future? I'm gonna have a heart attack if he ever actually gets one."

"If my mom survived my motorcycle then you will too." She laughed and stared at him for a moment. "Thank you for doing that."

"Anytime," he said softly. "He's grown on me."

"I'll say; it was like love at first sight when you two first met."

"I'm just that cool of a guy. What can I say?"

"You really are." She stared at him with such admiration and he returned it right back.

"Let's go turn in for the night." She nodded and the two of them walked back to the car for Mikey. The three of them walked into the office and exited with a two bedroom. He entered the room with his two black, leather bags like he always did except now he never opened them and if he did it wasn't in front of them. Laila lay on the bed with her son at her side while Thomas had a bed all to himself. Inside one of the bags was the gun he would always put underneath his pillow. He no longer needed it with him at all times. Now that he knew his plan, a colossus weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He no longer feared being caught or the need for the gun anymore. The next morning they were up early and on the road again. The entire trip took them about two days because of how many times they'd stop to rest or eat.

They were all wide awake once they entered the state. The whole trip was so new for Laila and her son since they had never really left home. To Thomas, it felt amazing to be back in his home state. Before leaving for good, he had traveled all over this state so he remembered a lot once they crossed its borders. He couldn't help but smile as he noticed all the things he remembered, as well as some changes. It wasn't until he reached his hometown that he felt the most nostalgic. He led them to another hotel and as they put their small bags into their rooms, Thomas stayed in the parking lot on his bike. He looked around everywhere and breathed in the air with a smirk. The small and large buildings caught his eye, as well as this video store he used to go to when he was younger. Everything had been taken out from the spot but he remembered it so well. He wasn't sure exactly when it went out of business but seeing it there brought back so many memories of his mother bringing him to rent movies. There was a hand on his shoulder that knocked him out of his memories. He turned to see Laila standing behind him with a smile.

"I don't think I've seen you smile this much in the little time that I've known you," she grinned. He chuckled and stared at her joyful eyes.

"It's good to be home," he said hoarsely. "To think I wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't met you." Her smile grew even bigger.

"Do you want to go around? Mikey and I are fine in our room. We'll order something to eat when you come back."

"Thanks," he nodded. She left to get a room while he took off into his town. He drove around the spots where he would hang out with his friends. The middle school he attended was there as well. He admired it and recalled all the stupid things he and his friends would do. He did the same for the high school but his time there was the longest. He and his best friends stayed there and caused so much trouble. After the school he passed by the movie theater he would go to with his friends after school on Friday nights. Their favorite diner was also beside it. Slowly, he made his way to his best friend's old home. He parked his bike in front and stayed there remembering his best times with John. He already knew John's mother moved away by the look of the house. There was different car in the driveway and the house looked different with a new paint job and a newer door. He couldn't count how many times John, his other friend Bruce, and he had left this house to go do some fun adventure either in the town or outside of it. Those two were the brothers he never had and he missed them every single day. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the headlights slowly moving behind him. The car parked on the other side of the street behind Thomas. The car door was closed and he could hear the footsteps leading to him. He wasn't sure who he'd expect but he didn't care, not anymore. The man had moved into the corner of his eye then he could tell by the uniform that it was cop.

"Hey do I know you from somewhere?" asked the deep voiced man. Thomas bent his head down hoping he wouldn't have to kill another cop again.

"No sir. I'm just here because an old friend of mine used to live here. Don't worry I'll be on my way if I'm bothering people." He turned on the bike and was getting ready to drive away.

"John Mendez?" Thomas stopped and turned off his bike. He turned to the cop and immediately recognized his face. He had dark brown hair with a clean shaven face and a defined jawline.

"Bruce?" The cop's eyes lit up and his mouth flew open as he recognized the biker.

"Tommy?" He quickly got off his bike and embraced his friend, who returned the hug. "Jesus Christ man I thought you were dead."

"I almost was bro."

"What happened to your face?" he asked when they separated.

"Oh just a recent fight with some dick head. You remember those?"

"Yeah," he chuckled.

"What're you doing here?"

"The same thing you are I guess. I stop here every week for him." The two of them looked at their friend's old house in sadness. They turned back to each other and Thomas smirked.

"Still a cop huh?"

"Don't give me that look," he laughed. "You and John wouldn't have lasted if it weren't for me having this job."

"That's true," he chuckled. "You covered our backs so many times."

"What happened to you? Look at your hair and your beard. Where did you go?"

"I've been to California, Arizona, Washington, Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, New Mexico, and Utah. I spent some time in each state after the heat went down a bit but I always kept moving from town to town. The last place I went to was Montana and now I'm back here."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm a lot better than when I left."

"Hey I'm so sorry about Emilia man. I know you would never do that in a million years. I know how much you loved her. I was there with the other cops and I'm just so sorry bro."

"It's okay," he said as he looked away. "How was Emma?"

"Well she and John's mom moved away from here. The two of them were beyond depressed after what happened. They didn't blame you though if that's what you mean. Emma loved John and she knew how he was with us so she didn't believe the news reports about you and neither did his mom. The two of them just couldn't take it here anymore you know? Too much pain from that night." They walked over to the edge of the sidewalk and sat down beside each other. "I almost did too but this is my home. I met you and him here so I just couldn't say goodbye to it all."

"Are you still with Alexandria?"

"Yeah we're still together," he said showing him the ring on his finger.

"That's awesome. When did you two get married?"

"Last year."

"I wish I could've been there."

"Yeah I wish the two of you could've been there to give some stupid toast." Thomas laughed. "You remember the toast John and I gave at your wedding?"

"How can I forget?" he snickered. "John was the one who said he thought this day would never come and that I'd die alone."

"And I got mad at him because he stole that from me."

"You also mentioned some bet you idiots had between each other."

"Yeah! He owed me forty dollars because I said you'd get married before he did."

"Yeah how smart was it that you mentioned he stole 'me dying alone' from you and saying 'I'd actually getting married before him' all in the same toast."

"That's how you knew we were best friends," he laughed. Their laughs died away until the only sound was the cars driving by on the main streets ahead. "You're lucky I'm the cop who stopped by."

"Would any of them even notice me anymore?"

"A few might. It has been a long time since we've seen your face and now that your hairs long they might not notice anymore."

"I'm so glad I ran into you bro."

"Yeah it's really good to see you again and laugh how we used to. Life got a little dull without you and John you know."

"How do you think my life turned out?"

"It's weird how we all ended up," he said sorrowfully. There was another silence between them and Bruce didn't want this to be that way. "I'm also glad you kept your bike," he said trying to change the subject.

"You swear I was gonna ditch my bike after I left." The two chuckled together again as Bruce rubbed his hand on the bike. "Is my mom still here?"

"Yeah she still lives in your old house. I go to see her every now and then. She's been doing well." He noticed the leather bags on the bike but nothing else. "So you've been alone this whole time?"

"Not exactly. In Montana I found this girl and she was in some trouble with her husband." Bruce turned back to him. "That's the dick head that I fought. Well anyway I came back here with them."

"Them?"

"She has a son."

"So is she like a friend or more than a friend?"

"I don't know about that."

"Not that I don't mind seeing you again but you could've just stayed with them over there. It's safer so why didn't you?"

"I couldn't do that. There's something I have to do. Before I tell you that there's something else I need to know." There was another silence between the two as Bruce waited for Thomas' question. Thomas wanted to ask this so bad but he was afraid of the answer he would get. Finally he gathered the courage to ask and looked over to his best friend. "How is she?" Bruce cleared his throat as he looked out onto the road.

"She's still here. They got a house over on Haddon Ave. It's a real nice house. Whatever they've needed help with I was there."

"Thank you."

"You're my brother, Tommy. That makes her my sister too," he paused for a moment then turned away from the street to his friend, "and my niece." Bruce saw Thomas' eyes start to tear up so he put his arm over him and held him close.

"How does she look?"

"She's really cute. I see a lot of Emilia in her so that means she didn't get your ugly looks." Thomas laughed softly. "Is that what you came back for?" Thomas moved back and wiped the tears from his eyes. "You know some of the old crew has probably noticed you already if you've been driving around."

"Yeah I'm counting on that."

"What're you going to do?"

"I'm gonna clear my name."


	8. Reunions

Thomas talked with his friend for an hour about his plan. Bruce didn't like the idea but he didn't have any other choice but to listen. Thomas said goodbye to his friend and that this wasn't the last time they would see each other. They parted ways and he returned to the hotel. Laila and Mikey were already eating their food when he walked through the door. The two of them were on their bed eating and watching TV. They looked over to him excitedly.

"We got burgers," said Mikey happily.

"From Marty's?" he asked.

"Yeah how did you know?" asked Laila.

"That's one of the most popular places around here. Their burgers are so good."

"We got you two. How'd it go?"

"Really well," he said as he sat down on his bed and unwrapped his food. "I went to my old school and to my best friend's house. I saw another one of my best friends too."

"Oh really? How'd that go?"

"It was fun. We talked about old times and laughed a lot. He told me about how he got married and what's been going on in the town." He bit into the burger and his taste buds immediately remembered the amazing food he loved. He smiled as he chewed the food and recalled how many times he used to eat these when he was here.

"So you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah I am." He looked over to you and smiled. "I'm good, don't worry." The three of them stayed up watching TV until their eyelids started to get heavy. Mikey was the first one to drift off to sleep and Laila shortly followed. Thomas turned his head to see her holding her son in her arms as they slept. He smiled then slowly got to his feet and turned off the TV. With them asleep, there wasn't much else for him to do but lie down on his bed and close his eyes. His conversation with Bruce was what he thought about as he laid there. The times when all three of them were enjoying life with their girlfriends was truly an amazing part of his life. They would often go to dinner or have a barbeque at each other's houses with just the six of them. Other times they would invite others like his sister or other old friends from school. They all enjoyed each other's company. They loved Emilia so much too. The first time John met her, he knew that she was perfect for him. Bruce said the same as well when he saw the two of them together.

He grinned happily as he remembered spending time with his brothers and the woman he loved. He could tell Bruce wasn't happy about the plan he had. Something in his face showed how worried he was considering all the people to be involved in his plan. If John were alive he knew he'd do what Bruce has done for his family. He wished he could see John one last time. First his best friend was murdered then his wife, and all because of his stupid greedy actions. The weight of all this was carried for too long and now all that kept him going was the reminders of this town. They were what drove him to fight on. Emilia and John pushed him to continue doing what he was doing. It all had to be finished and he knew in his heart that he would succeed. Nothing in this world would stop him from finishing it all and avenging two of the people he cared about most. It needed to end for all of his loved ones.

 _This is it_ , he thought when he first woke up. He turned to see Laila and Mikey still asleep in their bed. Quietly, he stood up and grabbed the two leather bags from the floor; carrying them with him to the restroom. He rearranged some things inside the bags and grabbed a new set of clothes before turning the water on. The warm water poured onto his body which still had the bruises from the car that run him over. A big spot on his right shoulder was purple along with some scratches as well. He stretched his sore arms slowly so that they would not hurt as much. His shower was over quickly so he got dressed and looked himself in the mirror. Now he could almost see the man he once was. Maybe his different outlook on life changed his perspective of his looks or perhaps all these memories he kept from his mind just turned him into a better man. Whatever the case was, he smirked at the man in the mirror. Laila was stretching when he walked out of the bathroom. She turned to him with a sleepy look on her face.

"You're up early," she moaned.

"Yeah I'm planning to go somewhere, pillow hair," he joked. She looked at herself in the mirror from the bathroom then turned back to him with her middle finger straight up.

"Where you gonna go?"

"I'm gonna go see my mom." Her tiresome face wore off and turned serious.

"Oh," she said blankly. "That's a big step."

"Yeah I know it is. The step afterwards is even bigger." He stuffed his dirty clothes into one bag and looked up to see her just standing there. "You okay?"

"Yeah I am," she said calmly. It was a little too calm for him to think she was telling the truth. He walked away from his bag to go to her.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." He tilted his head and raised his brow. "I feel like I sound like a broken record. I don't want to piss you off." He sighed and gave her a hard stare. "I'm okay, Thomas. I just don't know if you are. I feel like you're checking things off of your bucket list which makes me nervous."

"Why?" She looked away but he softly touched her cheek and pushed her to face him again. "Why?" She stayed quiet for a moment as she thought about just walking into the bathroom to escape this conversation. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

"I don't want you to die," she whispered sounding defeated. "We're back in your home and this was where everything went wrong. The people who ruined your life are here and I just feel like you're going to do something that's going to get you killed. The fact that you haven't told me your plan just makes me even more nervous." He held her close to him and she pushed her cheek against his firm chest.

"Do you want to come with me to do these big steps?" She lifted her head from his chest and looked him in the eye.

"Why do you want me to go?" He looked offended by her question then smiled.

"Laila you were there for a very big step of my life and now you're wondering why I want you to be there for the rest of them?" She smirked and nodded. "Go get ready and I'll wait here until Mikey wakes up." She grabbed a few clothes from her bag then walked into the bathroom. Thomas grabbed his leather jacket from the door and put it on. With his keys inside his pocket he sat down on his bed and stared outside the window. The sun was beginning to rise into the sky but there were already some cars in the street. He guessed they were people going to work or simply doing their daily morning routines. He grabbed the notepad on the nightstand and started writing. Once he finished writing on the paper he tore it off of the pad then placed it inside one of the leather bags. He checked one last time on the things inside and gently placed it on the bed. Time had passed and Laila finally walked out of the shower but Mikey was still asleep.

"Do you want me to wake him up?" she asked.

"Nah let him sleep. I'll just carry him to the car." She nodded and grabbed her car keys while he slowly picked up her son and put him over his shoulder. Before leaving he grabbed one of the leather bags and walked outside with her. "You got the key to the room?" he asked as she was walking. She nodded so he closed the door to their room and walked to the car. The sun was now in the sky shining down upon this new day. She opened the passenger door and flattened the seat out. Thomas gently placed Mikey in the seat and managed not to wake him. He walked to his bike and set up the bag on the side. He strapped his helmet on and turned on the bike. She followed him out of the lot and the two drove onwards to his old home. All the driving from the previous night made him feel so at ease as he drove now. It was like the clock turned back a few years to when he would do this every day. It wasn't long until they arrived at his childhood. The night before he thought about coming here but he felt it would've been better to do it on this day in particular. He felt it was like saving the best things for last. He knew his mother very well so he knew she would already be up at this time.

Slowly, he parked in front of the house while she parked behind him. He stared at the house and realized it hadn't changed one bit. It looked the same as when he left and he loved it. It felt more familiar than anything else he'd come back to. He got off of his bike and walked onto the front lawn, gazing at every inch of the house. He turned back to Laila and motioned for her to wait to which she nodded. Mikey was started to move around in his seat until his eyes finally opened. He saw his mother staring out the window so he turned as well and saw Thomas walking to a house.

"Where are we?" he asked. She looked down to her son.

"We're at Thomas' mom's house."

"We're going to meet his mom?" he asked while rubbing his eyes.

"We'll have to wait and see." She reached out and pulled his hand from his eyes. "Don't rub your eyes, sweetie." Thomas walked up the stairs of the porch and stood in front of the door. Hesitantly he raised his hand and knocked on the wooden surface. He could hear the footsteps coming to the door and he started to get nervous.

"Who is it?" asked a familiar soft voice as she neared the door.

"It's an old friend," he said in his hoarse voice. This woman opened the door and immediately her eyes lit up. Her mouth opened in surprise as she stared at the man in her doorway. Her eyes started to get watery from the tears aching to come out. She hadn't changed much from what he remembered except for some age lines coming in and she had gotten thinner.

"Tommy," she gasped.

"Hi mom," he smiled. Almost instantly she reached out and pulled him in by the neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight.

"My son," she whispered in his ear. "My baby you've come home." They stood there hugging for what seemed like hours but he didn't mind at all. The two of them walked inside of the house and she dragged him into the kitchen. They sat beside each other and she just stared at him, noticing so many small changes in his face. She never let go of his hand for the fear of him leaving again. "How have you been?" she finally asked. "Where have you been?"

"I've been in a few states since I left. I'm doing much better now."

"I'm so sorry," she said with tears in her eyes. "I know you didn't do it but I'm so sorry for what happened to Emilia and John."

"I know mom I know."

"I know how you feel. When your father died there was so much wrong with me that I didn't know what to do with myself. What happened to Emilia was tragic and I can't believe you're actually still here in front of me. I thought the worse."

"The whole time I blamed myself and it came very close to me just giving up." She nodded and squeezed his hand. "I didn't though and that's why I'm here now."

"What're you doing back? Won't the police be looking for you?"

"They will but Bruce is helping with that. I came back because I'm going to do something to fix all of this." He went on to explain his plan and she disagreed with a lot of what he was going to do. The second she saw him she had the high hopes that everything had changed and he was going to be okay. The tears continued as he explained what he was going to do and he explained himself to her just like he did with Bruce. She nodded with the tears flowing down her cheeks but she understood why he had to do all this. He looked outside the window and saw Laila still in the car so he turned back to his mom. "I have some people for you to meet." She looked puzzled. "Keep in mind I helped her out while I was in Montana and she's the reason I've come back here. Her and her son were in serious trouble so I gave them help okay?" She smiled and nodded. He walked out of the door and motioned for them to come inside. Laila and her son exited the car and walked to the front door. He escorted them to the kitchen where they met his mom sitting at the table.

"Mom, this is Laila and her son Mikey. Laila, Mikey this is my mom Diana." She stood up and extended her hand to Laila.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Laila said as she shook her hand.

"It's nice to meet you too." She looked down to Mikey and extended her hand to him as well. "It's nice to meet you too, Mikey. You're such a handsome young boy." He shyly shook her hand. "Did you two wake him up this early?"

"Unfortunately yeah," said Thomas.

"The poor thing, he must be so tired. Are you hungry?" Mikey nodded hesitantly. "How's about I make you all some breakfast?"

"That's not necessary, Diana," Laila replied humbly.

"I insist. If you really did bring my son back home then I owe you at least some home cooked food."

"Thank you so much," she said with a grin. The three of them sat down at the table while she got all the food together to make.

"So were you cleaning again this morning?" asked her son.

"I'm surprised you haven't forgotten that," she laughed.

"It was the reason why I always woke up so early when I lived here."

"Without me you'd wake up at one in the afternoon." She started cooking eggs with bacon and pancakes too. Laila helped her out as well with the pancakes and the two enjoyed talking to one another while Thomas showed Mikey around the house. Laila told Diana a little about what happened between her and her son but not in much detail. Diana understood regardless what the details were. She was happy to know that her son helped her when she was in such need. The boys returned when Diana yelled out that the food was ready. The four of them enjoyed the breakfast and talked about their trip back to Texas from Montana. They spent a couple of years just talking about the trip and what it was like living there for Diana and Thomas. Laila was beginning to soften up to the idea of living in this state. She walked them out herself and hugged Laila.

"Thank you so much for helping my son," she told her.

"Thank you for raising such an amazing man," she replied. Diana turned to Mikey and shook his hand again.

"I hope you enjoyed the food."

"I did thank you," he grinned. She looked up to Laila again. "Watch out for him since Tommy has already taught him about bikes," she laughed.

"Yeah I just can't win with these two," she giggled. Diana turned to her son as Laila and Mikey walked to the car. She placed a kiss on his cheek and hugged him once again. This time it was tighter than the first.

"I love you so much," she said.

"I love you too, mom." The tears were returning and she was choking up.

"I know you haven't made good decisions but you should know that no matter what happened in the past that my love for you has never fazed or changed in anyway. You are my boy and nothing in the world could change that."

"Thanks mom." She let him go despite full well knowing what was going to happen later that day. There was no way of escaping it and she knew this. He needed to walk his own path and she loved him for seeing it through. She watched him get on the horrid motorcycle that she'd always hated and waved goodbye to them as they drove off.

The next step made him incredibly nervous as he rode on. He wasn't sure exactly how it would go but he knew how this would end. The end of this step he had accepted the night he realized what he wanted to do. So many things ran through his head as he thought of what to say and do. Time had gone by so fast with everything he was thinking about. Before he knew it he was already in front of the house. There was a car in the driveway and Bruce was right; it was a great house. He got off of his bike, removing the leather bag, and walked over to Laila.

"I'm going to see my sister," he said once he leaned into the window to which she nodded as she looked over to the house.

"Are you nervous?" she asked when she turned back to him.

"A bit yeah because my sister tells it how it is."

"You got this," she giggled. "You're going to be fine." He smiled and nodded. He calmly walked over to the front door and stopped. Those thoughts were running through his mind again. He ignored them all and just knocked on the door. This time he heard no footsteps but before he could knock again the door swung open. There was this woman with long, brown curly hair standing before him. A gasp left her mouth as she stared at him. He stared back and admired how well she looked. Her hair stayed the same but she looked more fit than the last time he'd seen her. She noticed how much older he looked even though she was two years older than him. He managed to keep his muscular figure but he just looked as if he'd been through hell and she expected as much.

"Hey," she gasped.

"Hey," he replied. He was the one who leaned in for the hug and she gladly accepted it. They let go and continued to stare at one another.

"Come in," she finally said. He walked in without a word and the two of them sat across from each other in the living room. The bag was by his feet as they sat there in silence just looking at one another despite both being happy to see each other. She smiled and shook her head. "I thought you were dead." He chuckled softly. "I should've known better."

"Everyone thought I was dead. I thought my sister Shayla would think different."

"It's so good to see you," she said with a sad smile. "I can't tell you how many times I've thought about you."

"Same goes to you. I'm just glad you're not crying like mom."

"Oh give it time," she giggled, "I just might soon." Her smile didn't fade and didn't turn any happier. "How've you been, aside from the obvious?"

"Well I've traveled through nine states; that was kind of fun. That's probably the most exciting thing about my life. What about you?"

"Well luckily for you I have the night shift tonight for the hospital."

"You're a nurse?" She nodded her head. "That's great, Shay."

"Yeah I like it. My boyfriend takes care of Laurie when I'm working."

"You have a boyfriend now? Please tell me this one is a keeper."

"He is," she laughed. "I really like him. He's there for me whenever I need him and he always makes me happy. His name is Adam."

"I'm so happy for you," he smiled. "Just to be safe though, I'm gonna tell Bruce to watch out for him. If Adam fucks up Bruce is hauling his ass to jail. You just say the word." She shook her head and laughed.

"How did mom react?" she asked when she finished.

"I was scared I'd give her a heart attack but she was tougher than I thought."

"It _is_ mom you know?"

"Yeah I know," he laughed. "She just cried and hugged me and asked me the basic questions. After all that she made us breakfast."

"Us?"

"Yeah I came here with a girl and her son." She looked at him suspiciously. "It's not like that," he laughed. "In the last state I went to I found her and her husband was hitting her so I stepped in. I've spent a lot of time with her and her son. She's the reason why I came back here."

"How so?"

"I have been in a bad place as you could imagine. I was so close to killing myself so many times and I didn't care about anything because I didn't want to. Then all of a sudden I see her in trouble and I just acted. I was close to killing her husband the second time this asshole came back but she stopped me."

"Please don't tell me she's one of those dumb girls who care about their asshole husbands."

"She's not. I knew you were going to say that," he smirked. "She didn't let me because after I told her everything that happened that night she didn't want me to kill another person. She told me there was always a better way. You remember me when I was younger and how much of an idiot I was. I always had this violence in me and took it out on whoever was around. After Emilia all of that changed and I could feel how much better I was. I went back to that way because of our troubles. It was stupid I know but I got greedy, Shay. I got greedy and just returned to the guy I was except when Emilia was there for me. The baby changed all that again and I was ready to be the guy they needed but you know how it ended. I loved her Shay. She was everything to me. I wish I knew then what I know now. If I did then maybe she wouldn't have died." Shay reached out and grabbed his hand.

"You made a mistake. You can't blame yourself."

"That's all I do. I'm responsible for killing the woman I love. I left my daughter without her mother. After she died I knew I was going back to who I used to be. You have no idea how many people I've killed since I've been running from the cops. I lost count of how many people I've murdered just so I could continue living. If the cops weren't after me then I would've hunted every single one of those people who were responsible for killing her. I couldn't let what happened to my wife, happen to my daughter. That's why I left her with my amazing, strong, and loving sister."

"So," she said but paused so she could look away from her brother, "what's changed now?" He stayed silent for a moment as he stared at her but she wouldn't look him in the eye anymore.

"Now," he said softly, "this is going to end, Shay."

"Killing them won't change what happened to John or Emilia, Tommy." He shook his head and smiled.

"You weren't listening." Now she turned back to him with a raised eyebrow. She thought about what he was saying and was trying to figure out what he meant. "If you don't get it now then you'll understand later on today."

"What're you going to do?" she asked worriedly.

"You'll see, Shay. For now let me just enjoy the time I have with you." She stared at him sadly but she knew her brother. There was no bother in persisting because he wouldn't tell her otherwise. However, she could feel this horrible feeling in her stomach. She felt more nauseous the more she thought about it. "How is she?" he asked. She looked up at him and smiled joyfully.

"She's amazing. She looks just like you two." Now the tears were coming. "Sometimes when I just look at her I'm reminded of Emilia. You know I never liked the girls you dated but I tolerated her." They both laughed together. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone." He gently squeezed her hand while nodding his head. "She's smart like her mom and funny like her dad. She has all your guys' best qualities. She makes it feel like you two never left this place. Mom sees her every weekend and Bruce comes by to see her too. Her parents might've gone through a tragedy but your daughter is the brightest part of it all." He couldn't but smile as he heard all this about his little girl. She was everything he imagined she'd be and more. "Do you want to meet her?"

"She's here?"

"She's asleep upstairs." Before he could even answer she grabbed his hand and walked him upstairs. They walked into her room which was blue instead of the usual pink. "I couldn't bear to have her be that girly girl with pink. Mom likes to give her pink things though." At the end of the room was her bed and lying on the soft looking mattress was this small light skinned little girl. Slowly, he walked towards her with Shayla right behind him. He stared at her cute little face and saw everything he had dreamed about. She had her mother's wavy brown hair and heart shaped cheeks but his small nose. She was so peaceful and her breathing was hypnotic. He couldn't believe how much she had grown. With his finger, he reached out and gently touched her small hand. Her skin was so soft he wished he could hold her but he knew if he did he would never leave. Instead he walked out of the room slowly and his sister followed.

"She's beautiful," he whispered to her. He felt Shayla's soft hand rubbing his back.

"She is. You and Emilia did an amazing job." He walked downstairs and she stared at him in disappointment. "Is that it?" she asked when she met up with him in the living room again. "You're not going to hold her or anything?"

"Shay I can't. If I do then I know I'm never going to leave or go through with what I have to." Her eyes were saddened as she watched her brother's painful expression. She could see how badly he already wanted to stay. She reached out for his hand and held it.

"Okay," she said soothingly. "I'm glad you saw her."

"I am too," he smiled. "She's everything she was from my dreams." He held her hand against his heart. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"Tell her about me. Tell her the truth about me. All the mistakes and the wrong I've done, but most of all tell her how much I loved her and her mother." Shay wrapped her other arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to her.

"I'll tell her the truth. She'll know about how much her mom and dad loved each other. She'll know how amazing they were and how much love they had for her, I promise."

"Thank you Shay." He let go of her and picked up the leather bag from the floor. "Before I forget, I brought this for you."

"What is it?"

"Don't open it until I leave here. It's for you guys. It's better in your hands than mine." He put it back on the floor and they looked at one another again.

"Is this it?" He nodded his head.

"This is it." They walked to the front door and she opened it for him. She hugged him again while trying to hold back the tears. They both had smiles on their faces when they separated. "I never said I was sorry."

"For what?"

"You never wanted kids," he chuckled.

"Your kid is the exception," she laughed softly. She looked out to the car parked in front of her neighbor's house. "Is that the girl you saved?"

"Is there a kid in the passenger seat?"

"Yep."

"Yeah that's her."

"She's pretty. Did you two ever…? You know."

"No," he laughed. "I can't even though I've been tempted to."

"Emilia."

"You know me right down to my bones." She grinned and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Shay."

"I love you too, little brother."


	9. The End of the Road

As quickly as he could, he got onto his bike, twisted the throttle, and drove off. Laila shortly followed and was concerned as to why he just sped off like this. There needed to be a good amount of distance between him and his sister's house so that he wouldn't convince himself to go back. The sight of his daughter was just too much for him. Desperately, he wanted to pick her up and hold her in his arms. The temptation was strong but he knew better. Doing what he wanted would bring him nothing but grief and pain. All that was left was to do what was needed. The hotel came into view within a matter of minutes as he sped past the speed limit. He pulled into the parking lot and waited for Laila to show up. It wasn't long before he saw her car come inside and park into one of the many empty spaces. She got out of the car and quickly made her way to him to see what had gone wrong. When she reached him he was just blankly staring out onto the main street.

"Thomas?" she questioned. "What happened? Are you okay?" His eyes turned to hers and she could see the pain that lied within them.

"I saw my daughter," he said nonchalantly.

"Isn't that a good thing? Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"She's everything I want, Laila. That's the problem. It's taking every bit of restraint I have to let her go and continue what I'm supposed to do." She turned to her son, who was waiting by the car, then back to her friend. As a parent, she understood his pain so placed her hand on his shoulder. She had nothing but the deepest sympathy for this man who wanted nothing more than to be with his daughter.

"I'm sorry. You've done all that you can possibly do for her. Everything that has been within your grasp has been reached. I know you wouldn't leave her in the arms of someone who couldn't be capable of caring for her so I believe you have done the right thing." He looked down to the ground and absorbed her words into his head trying to feel better about his decision. "As her father you have succeeded in giving her a life that she will love. I know right now all you want to do is be selfish but as parents we aren't given that luxury. Take pride in the fact that you've done right by her and your wife, Thomas." Sadly, being with him would not make her life better. He wanted to stay with her and forget the entire world but it wouldn't be fair to her. Gloomily, he looked up at her.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"I'm here for you if you want to talk." Something had caught the corner of his eye. His vision turned to this something and he realized it was finally time.

"I'm fine, Laila. I'll be okay."

"You sure?" He nodded his head and looked over to their room.

"Why don't you and Mikey go up to the room? I think I need a little bit more air before joining you two."

"Okay. You come in when you're ready." She started to walk to her son when he quickly turned back to her.

"Laila," he said stopping her in her tracks. "Thank you for everything. I can honestly say that if it weren't for you, I'd be a completely different man right now." She smiled.

"We're both different because of each other, Thomas. Don't forget that you've changed my life as much as I've changed yours." Mikey looked over to him as they walked away and Thomas made him smile by giving him a thumbs up. Once they walked into their rooms he got off his bike and walked over to the something that caught his eye. It was a car parked on the side street of the hotel with one person inside. The window was lowered when he stopped in front of it. Inside the driver's seat was a large man with black hair on the sides of his head but none on the top. It looked like he fit snuggly into the seat of the car.

"How long have you been following me?" asked Thomas. The man eyed him and the stern look on his face never fazed.

"Since Haddon Ave," he replied in his profound voice.

"Dallas knows I'm here?" The stranger simply nodded his head. "Take me to him then. I'll follow you." He returned to his bike just as the stranger turned on the engine. The stranger led him all the way to the outskirts of town where all these warehouses were built. They were about fifteen miles away from the town which was all new to him. He never got to see where they did their business like this when he worked for them. After the third warehouse, the stranger stopped in front of this three story building. He parked in front of the car and the stranger escorted him to the door. Before walking him in, he patted the jacket then his legs and arms. A gun was pulled out from his boot when he reached the legs. The man held the gun as he walked Thomas through the door. The inside of the building was wide spaced but not much was inside. It looked to be abandoned for quite a long time until he saw a small group of people sitting at this table. The majority of them were well dressed men but the latter were the common thugs he always saw on the street. The man in the middle of them turned his seat around to see who was entering their place of business. He was a light skinned middle aged man with his black hair combed to the side neatly. His puzzled face formed into a wide smiled when he saw who walked in.

"I had heard you were back in town but I honestly could not believe that you would ever set foot here ever again," he said with a silvery tone of voice.

"Nice to see you too, Dallas," Thomas replied cockily. Calmly, he walked over to his new visitor. The stranger handed him the gun he found.

"What were you planning to do with this?"

"You're very familiar with guns why don't you take a guess?"

"You still have that smart mouth, Tommy," he laughed. "I kind of missed that. What're you doing back here?"

"I just came here to say goodbye to family."

"So you thought you could just waltz back into your hometown after what you did the last time you were here? I'm sure you didn't forget what happened. You stole a lot of money from us and ran like a coward. The only reason you still have family here is because of me! I was under the impression that you were in hiding and I knew you would come back eventually because of them. Do you really want to drag them back into this?"

"I didn't come here to start anything, Dallas. You leave them out of this." Dallas eyed him up and down. All of Thomas' different features almost made him unrecognizable. He remembered him much younger than this. The potential he saw in him was long gone now but it didn't matter to Dallas.

"These years haven't been kind to you, my friend. I don't know what happened to you, Tommy. You were really good at what you did. You're a killer just like the rest of us. You should've known better than to think you could go straight."

"Don't compare yourself to me. You knew I wanted out for the longest time. I had Emilia then we had Laurie and you just couldn't leave things be. You couldn't leave me be. You knew I knew too much and that was why you didn't want me to go on my own. You don't trust anyone." He chuckled softly and walked up closer to him to look him in the eyes.

"You still don't get it do you, Tommy? After all these years you still haven't realized it. We've ran our drugs through this town and we've been swimming in money. You could've been a big part of this; you and John. We're all murderers here, even you. You can't deny that since you've killed much more than you'd like to admit. You should have accepted that a long time ago because then maybe," he paused and grinned, "maybe I wouldn't have had to kill that wife of yours." Thomas rammed his forehead right down onto the bridge of Dallas' nose, breaking it. He stumbled backwards while holding his nose and yelling out in anger. "You stupid son of a bitch! You have no idea how badly I have wanted to kill you and now that you were stupid enough to come back I finally have the chance." He pointed the gun at Thomas' head but before he could pull the trigger, another gunshot was heard from outside. Before anyone could follow the sound, the gun was shot out of Dallas' hand when the pulled went straight through his palm. He cried out in pain and looked at the large man who brought Thomas to the warehouse. "You idiot! You were followed!" Thomas quickly shoved his elbow into the large man's gut then punched Dallas on his injured nose, knocking him down to the ground. The doors to the warehouse were opened by the police, led by Bruce. The large man grabbed Thomas again and the two struggled to throw the other down. Thomas used his leg to kick the man's thigh then while he was in pain shove his elbow into his cheek. The men behind Dallas took out their guns and started shooting outside where the gunshot came from. The big man received a knee in his face that finally knocked him on his back.

With the big man out of the way, Thomas could see his best friend running towards him. Before they could reach one another, he felt a sharp pain in his back. There was another sharp pain in his left arm and one more in his chest. Dallas was still on the ground but with the gun pointed straight at Thomas' back. The first bullet pierced his spine, the second shot through his arm, and the last one punctured his heart.

Shayla and Diana were watching the news in their private homes at the same time. The two of them were watching because of what Thomas had said. They were afraid that they were going to see a news report about his death. They watched diligently and waited for this news report that they hoped wouldn't show. Laurie was playing with her toys in the living room while Shayla watched her. Diana was eating some small dinner she had made while keeping her eyes on the TV. In the living room sat the leather bag her brother had left her earlier except it was open now. Inside of it were bundles of hundred dollar bills. She had suspected it would be money but not around five hundred thousand. She had decided to leave it for his daughter and add to it as the years went by. Finally there was word of gunfire on the outskirts of town with a group of police on the scene. Shayla looked up at the TV while Diana put her fork down. The two of them grew anxious as they waited to hear what had happened. There was mention of Bruce who had led the police there to find Thomas. Diana covered her mouth and sobbed as she watched the story unfold before her eyes. Shayla merely watched the screen and held little Laurie close to her chest.

Mikey walked into the hotel room and right away ran to the bed with the remote in his hand. Laila slowly walked in with this bad feeling brewing inside of her. Her bad feeling passed for a moment when she saw the black bag on their bed. Mikey had paid no attention to it but his mother found it odd since Thomas never rode out on his bike without those bags. She quickly looked out the window and saw that his bike was no longer in the parking lot. The bad feeling returned as she stared out there, hoping he would come back in that second. She turned back to the bag and pulled it over to his bed. When she opened it there a note folded on top of bundles of hundred dollar bills. She couldn't help but gasp when she saw the money. Beside the money were the two pistols he had kept inside. She moved the money around and saw that underneath it were the rest of his tools for his bike.

The bag was put to the side but the note was still in her hand. She wasn't sure what to expect from this note but she hoped that it wasn't a goodbye letter. So many thoughts ran through her head as she contemplating opening it or just throwing it inside of the bag so she could spare herself some heartache. The only thing that recurred back into her head was that this was his last goodbye to them. She wasn't sure if she could handle reading that especially after all they had been through. Finally with a deep breath she opened the note and it read:

 _Dear Laila,_

 _I know you're probably really upset or hurt right now but I couldn't bare to tell you what my plan was because I knew how you would react. If you're reading this then hopefully it means that my plan succeeded and Bruce and I managed to put away the people who took my best friend and wife from me. If it has really come true then I'm sorry to say this but it means that I'm dead. I know that's the last thing you want to read but this was my plan all along, Laila. It wouldn't have mattered if I had taken down those men the right way and sent them to jail. My crimes are still my crimes and I would've been taken to prison with them. I managed to accomplish all of this because I found the right way for it to end. The moment you explained to me why I shouldn't have killed your husband I understood what needed to happen. I would have killed myself if I had gone to prison. I've been in my own prison since that horrible night. I prefer it this way, Laila. I've left you this money so you and your son can live in a house all your own where you two can live in peace. The guns are so you can keep the peace should anything happen but I know you and I know you're strong enough to take on whatever comes at you. Thank you for believing that a person as damaged as I am could still be a good man. Thank you for showing me that there's always another way._

 _With love always, Thomas_

"Mom, are you okay?" asked Mikey as he stared at his mom who had tears crawling down her cheeks. She sat with him on the bed and hugged him.

"I'm fine and we're going to be fine," she said gently.

"Is Thomas okay?" She rubbed her cheek against his soft hair.

"He's better now, sweetie. He's better."

Bruce watched as each bullet connected with his best friend, forcing him to fall to the ground. Bruce cried out and kicked Dallas in the face when he finally reached them. He was knocked out immediately and for good measure, the gun was kicked out of his hand. The rest of the group surrendered once they saw they were outnumbered and were arrested. Bruce knelt down beside his best friend and held him in his arms.

"No," he said in disbelief as he watched the blood leave his wounds. "No don't you die on me, Tommy. Don't you fucking die!" He pushed his hand against the wound to put some pressure but it wasn't working. "I need an ambulance now!"

"It worked," he choked out with a smile. "Our plan worked."

"Yeah it worked man," he said trying to stay strong.

"You're gonna need the wire you put on me."

"Don't worry about that right now. Just stay with me okay? You're not gonna die, Tommy." Bruce could feel his eyes getting watery.

"Bruce," he said weakly.

"Yeah?"

"It's okay."

"What do you mean it's okay? This isn't okay. You have a sister and a mom who love you. A daughter waiting for you back home."

"This was the plan all along." Bruce said something else but the words never reached his brothers ears. His head felt so heavy so he stopped trying to hold it up and just let it fall. Everything looked so bright now and he could feel it all slipping away. The stress, the troubles, the pain, and the heartache were all gone now. The only thing left was this glowing image in front of him. He recognized it instantly but not as a memory because he knew they never shared this moment before. It shined so bright in front of him and it was so beautiful. Laurie was running with her long hair flowing in the wind. She wrapped her arms around Emilia and him right beside her. They held their daughter together and looked into each other's eyes with their gleaming smiles. Thomas leaned in and they shared one final kiss. This dream was all that he ever needed to pass on by and here it was again so he could continue on.


End file.
